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To: mombonn
LOL, the APA never met my ex-husband. He is passive-aggressive personified

Mine was too. He would get into his passive aggressive crap and I would call him on it. I would tell him that it was time for him to be a grown up and address things as they really are instead of playing games. Of course he would deny up and down that was what he was doing and that I must be paranoid for even thinking that way. I found the best way to deal with passive aggressive behavior is to ignore it or make other plans. For example my ex would show up very late for every event we needed to attend together. I eventually learned that trying to get him to change was a waste of breath so I would just go on my own and let him catch up. He would always do this wounded act when I did that. I would just say "Well I have a watch and you have a watch. I run on time because it shows respect for others. If you choose not to it does not mean that I need to be chronically late too."

14 posted on 11/16/2004 4:41:20 PM PST by foolscap
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To: foolscap; dead

I had this girlfriend once. Once. She would ask "Do you want to go to the ballet?". If I said "No". I would find the question was really a statement and I had rejected her. She would go off like a rocket. Instead of saying "I want to go to the ballet", she would go all passive aggressive and make it a question that wasn't really a question.

Later, when she asked if I wanted to go to the ballet, I finally learned to tell her that I wished she and her whole family would die.


15 posted on 11/16/2004 4:48:14 PM PST by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: foolscap
I found the best way to deal with passive aggressive behavior is to ignore it or make other plans.

I found the best way to deal with it was to fight fire with fire.

He used to ask, "Do you feel better now?" in a patronizing fashion, which would only make me angrier.

One day, instead of yelling, I started laughing at him. He became furious. LOL, the more I laughed, the angrier he became. It was about the only time I ever saw him lose his temper.

Best thing I ever did - too bad I learned it too late!

17 posted on 11/16/2004 4:57:13 PM PST by mombonn ( ¡Viva Bush/Cheney! Dukakis and Kerry are the matching bookends of the Bush era.)
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To: foolscap
GREAT answer!
20 posted on 11/16/2004 5:10:17 PM PST by bootless (Never Forget - And Never Again)
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To: foolscap
I eventually learned that trying to get him to change

Ah, I think I see the problem....

29 posted on 11/16/2004 9:14:23 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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