< low down grumbled pilot voice >
"Hello, this is your Captain speaking . . . I'm not dumb enough to strap myself to this death trap, so I'll be piloting todays flight from the comfort of a ground based control room."
"Expected flight time this afternoon is just under 20 minutes, with a ceiling of 70 thousand feet, We'll have you over the pacific at an expected speed of Mach 10"
"We have a 100% chance of splashdown during landing today, so forget about the seat-bottom-becomes-a-flotation-device thing because we'll all be vaporized upon impact in the Pacific."
"Thank you for choosing NASA for your flight today"
< / low down grumbled pilot voice >
Impact upon the Pacific? I thought this was the connecting flight to Minneapolis!