Leaders more aggressive than Lee and Jackson were in the beginning of the Civil War would have taken the war into Pennsylvania and Ohio in 1861 and 1862 and forced the Union to relinquish its claims to the Southern states.I don't see how this could have happened. The First Battle of Bull Run showed that both armies were not ready for prime time. Deep offensive thrusts were beyond their abilities. Neither side had, as yet, as significant riverine force of steam gunboats to support extended operations in 1861. By 1862 the Confederacy could not marshal sufficient forces to hold the line against widely separated attacks in the western theater. If we assume that the border states had 'gone with the Confederacy' then the military predicament would have been even worse.
You are correct in saying that in the summer of 1861 neither the Northern nor the Southern army was "ready for prime time." However, had the South merely taken advantage of the Union rout at the First Battle of Bull Run, they could have captured Washington in a few days and forced the Union government and military into Pennsylvania. President Lincoln himself was realistic about the weak capacity of the forces under his command in the early months of the war. With the Confederates established in Washington, Maryland's legislature would probably have sided with the Confederacy. With the alignment of the Maryland militia onto the Confederate side, the front line would have been driven to within 50 miles of Philadelphia. As for West Virginia, it was the inaction of the Old Dominion that let the area slip away from its (and thereby Confederate) control. Had the Confederates done a better job in organizing its forces in the mid-South, including occupying Kentucky as a necessity of war, irrespective of that state's neutrality, the Bluegrass State may have joined the Confederacy as well.
President Lincoln and General Winfield Scott were more astute strategists than were their Southern counterparts. By taking the early advantage in the Border States and adopting the "Anaconda" strategy of strangling the Confederacy through blockade and splitting the Confederacy in the Mississippi Valley, the Union won the war even though the Confederates won the majority of battles.