If you are an 'evolutionist' then that "hilarious story" is Your creation story.
I've debated many atheists, agnostics, and Christian Humanists. One thing I've discovered is that virtually None of them truly knows the true extent of their worldview......and certainly not the consequences of it. They know of the theories, and can discuss those, just as evolutionists in here can. But when the debate goes beyond the theories to the "first principle" {creation story}, almost every one I've debated reacted with shock and even derision......."I don't believe that....you must be crazy!!!". And my response to them is what it is to you: do some research. Connect the dots between the 'godless' theory of evolution to the "matter is all there is" creation story and its consequences...... understood very well by the likes of Nietzsche, Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, and that cabal.
The story you presented is a characiture of what some people believe. You presume too much if you say that everyone who believes that the theory of evolution has a great deal of evidence to favor it and is currently the best explanation for the diversity of life also believes your story. Personally, I believe that God created the universe via the big bang. He then allowed it to proceed according to the laws of nature that He designed for it. At the appropriate time, life formed from a collection of non-living molecules. God designed the laws of nature in such a way as to ensure that this would happen. Once life began, it continued to make imperfect copies of itself. Some of these imperfect copies survived to reproduce better than others. Small changes resulting from the imperfection of the reproduction eventually resulted in all the life forms seen today. I am not maintaining that God could not play a direct role in the universe. I am maintaining that He designed it all so well that He didn't have to.