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This is from "Follow Me May-June 2004
Offical Publication of the Second Marine Division Association ** http://www.2marine.com

Put Your Affairs In Order-NOW
The Last Detail
by Neil Duane

It's Better To Make Arrangements While You Can While You're Still Alive!

In the National Cemeteries, there Is also room or your wife In the same grave, whether or not she precedes you In death, and her name will ) join yours on the marker.

I'm sure that all of us who served in the Second Marine Division are eternally grateful that we weren't killed before our 18th or 19th birthday, as many of our brothers were on Tarawa, Saipan, Tinian, in Beirut and even now in Iraq. I know I am. In fact, many of us are probably surprised that we lasted this long.

But time is running out for all of us, especially you WWII guys, and for me as well. Although I'm much younger (63), I just got the word that I only have a few months left . (fast moving cancer). Although not the best news I could have hoped for, it has given me valuable time to ''put my affairs in order." I urge you to do the same. NOW

Your passing is going to be hard on your wives and families (believe me on this), so making the funeral arrangements now, while you have the time, is going to be difficult for them. But, it will be a blessing when the big day arrives. Since I've just been through this with my wife Patty, and our daughters, I thought you would find the following information useful and start acting on it.

Both the funeral director and the pastor of our church, who have presided over many funerals, told us how extremely rare it was to have people come in to make the arrangements before the death, and how difficult it was for the families to handle these details in their time of grief. So, I know I'm not preaching to the choir here. Typical question: does your wife know where your honorable discharge certificate' is? Does she even know what a DD214 form is?

Burial in a National Cemetery

You, too, can be buried in a National Cemetery, with accoutrements galore-including your wife.

First of all, you're entitled to free burial in a national cemetery, providing you have an Honorable Discharge. (I chose Bourne National Cemetery on Cape Cod in my home state of Massachusetts). See
http://www.cem.va.gov/listcem.htm for locations, or call your local veteran's agent or funeral home. For you dinosaurs who still don't use computers, get one of the grandkids to bring it up for you or
call1-800-827-1000.

In addition to the gravesite, you rate a flag for the coffin, an engraved headstone or marker, and a concrete grave liner. In private cemeteries these costs can add up. (Arlington National Cemetery, because of space concerns, is now limited to active duty deaths, highly decorated combat veterans (Medal of Honor or Navy Cross), POWs, etc. but a Purple Heart will get you in. There are other stipulations as well. Check web site http://www.arlingtoncemetery.com/eligib.html if you really want to go this route, or call 703-607-8000.

There is no fee for opening and closing the grave at a national cemetery as there is now at many private cemeteries, I was informed by my friendly undertaker, so you can save the family some serious money here as well. You do have to provide your own coffin or cremation urn.

IF YOU WANT TO BE BURIED AT SEA

If you want to, you can even be buried at sea from a Navy vessel, but there are additional rules and regs for this. For instance they're not going to send a guided missile cruiser a hundred miles out just to slip you over the side. You have to wait on the Navy's convenience for a vessel to be deployed. Of course, your family won't be able to attend. But they do have the service on deck that many of you probably witnessed after an invasion, and the longitude and latitude of your burial coordinates, as well as the flag, will be sent to your family by the commanding officer of the vessel. If interested, call the U.S. Navy Mortuary Affairs office toll-tree at 1-888-647-6676 and select option 4.

In the cemeteries, there is also room for your wife in the same grave, whether or not she precedes you in death, and her name will join yours on the marker, as shown in the photos on page I. HQ Marine Corps has also mandated that all former Marines are due a military funeral detail, even if it only consists of three Marines in full dress blues, usually local reservists, i.e., one to play taps and two to fold the flag for presentation to your wife or next of kin. I did arrange such a detail for a friend's father who fought on Okinawa from D-Day to the end, and was discharged, like many Marine combat veterans of WWII, as a
PFC. The flag folding was performed by two reserve master sergeants from the 23rd Marines in full dress blues, who were absolutely superb to my expert eye. I can comment on this since, when I left the Division, I was assigned to Eighth and I participated in many of these burial details at Arlington. Made me proud to be a Marine. But don't expect the firing detail and caisson unless you are being buried at Arlington with full honors.

Making the Rounds

Your first stop is the funeral director, followed by a visit to the presiding clergy to discuss the ceremony, eulogies, music, flag handling, etc. In my experience some churches are a bit more restrictive than others on the number of people who would like to eulogize you, for example. Arrange a visit with your wife and let the undertaker know that you're doing some pre-planning. He'll ask about hymns to be sung, music, pallbearers, and costs. The funeral director will also ask you to decide on what you want to wear to your funeral.

No way I was fitting into my blues, so I opted for a dark gray civilian suit For the lapel, Patty thought the 2nd Marine Division pin would be appropriate, so that's what it will be. They are going to hang my dress blue blouse with stripes, hash marks and medals back with the flowers, so you might want to consider that as well. The blouse is going to my grandson. I've already given my dog tags complete with c-ration can opener to my son.

If you're missing uniform parts, as I was, or you would like to be buried in uniform, you can order everything, full dress blues, or greens, including replacement medals, or ribbons and shooting badges from the base exchange (the PX) at Quantico over the phone. Call 703-640-8800. Prices are very reasonable and service is excellent Even though no longer regulation, you can have the Division patch sewn onto the blouse sleeve, like you wore during the war. It will cost about three bucks at the local tailor/dry cleaning shop.

Picking the Casket

You can also pick out a casket at this time.
I was in the market for a basic military steel container, but these were not available, I was told. We were taken to a showroom displaying the various models. My first reaction was to stifle a laugh. These things actually come with names like 'The Vintage" or 'The Malibu." They can range as high as $10,000 for polished cherry wood. I told Patty that if she liked the cherry she should put the cash into some new kitchen cabinets. They did have a nice knotty pine model for under a grand, which I liked, but Patty thought it looked like a shipping crate, which it did. I told her we could paint it green, stencil USMC on the side and maybe add a ''This Side Up" arrow, but she failed to see the humor. They do offer a very nice fully embroidered Marine Corps Seal that fits neatly into the open lid of the casket, which I liked very much, and it wasn't too expensive.

At the wake, a folded flag will also be displayed on, or in, the coffin or in a triangular glass case alongside at no additional cost during viewing/visiting hours. All in all, the funeral services will set you back about $6000 - $8000, depending upon options.

Make Sure You Have A DD-214

The funeral director will quote you all the costs involved, and make arrangements for the flag, Marine escort and the grave marker. You'll need a copy of your honorable discharge and a copy of your DD214 form, if you have one. You'll be given a form to fill out for the grave marker inscription. If you don't do this, it will be left to your surviving family. Basically you get an engraved"emblem of faith" (Christian Cross, Star of David, etc.) name, rank, branch of service (for us, USMC or U.S. Marine Corps), date of birth and date of death. You can then have a personal inscription. One I saw on a Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant's marker was "WWII, Korea, Vietnam" (perfect attendance, as we used to say). Under this was "His Wife," followed by her name and dates of birth and death.

Visit the Cemetery

Depending upon the cemetery, you'll have an upright marker like those at Arlington, or a marble or bronze marker set into the ground. (Makes it easier to mow the grass. ) Your family can leave flowers at any time. I saw many bouquets when I visited the Bourne site.

I highly recommend a visit to the cemetery you choose, by the way. Your actual gravesite is simply the next one in line, so you could have an Army paratrooper on one side and a Navy boson’s mate on the other. Not Marines, but pretty good company. Also, the burial may not be performed on the day of the funeral, again depending upon the cemetery.

At Bourne, my final service will be performed at a small chapel, family members will have a chance to say a few last words, and the clergy will perform the commitment ceremony. The flag will be presented to Patty, and everyone will then leave for home. Except for me, of course. I'll be reporting for guard duty, just in case the Army and the Navy ever look on Heaven's scenes. Just like it says in the Hymn.
Get moving while you still can. Give me a call or send me an e-mail if you found this useful or have anything to add. 781-871-2950 or bosdoc@ao1.com.

- HELPFUL WEBSlTES

http://www.arlingtoncemetery.org/ http://www.arlingtoncemetery.org/funeral_information/index.html
(Arlington National Cemetery)

http://www.mdw.army.mil/fs-a03.htm (eligibility)

http://www.cem.va.gov/listcem.htm (national cemeteries)

Neil has pased on to be with the Lord.

Thanks to Mr. Mayor for emailing him the last time I posted this.
Dub
Sgt. USMC