Posted on 11/09/2004 5:33:32 AM PST by jriemer
This day's thread is sponsored by:
If only he (Arafart) had one of those "pop-up" things in his sternum, like a turkey. Then we'd know fer sure.
This whole soap opera in Gay Paree is really teetering on the precipice of Ridiculous Gulch.
I'm not dead, I'm just resting...
OK, where is the Arafat has AIDS post? That is almost as annoying.
He may have been dead, but he had $$$$$.
Does the Koran say the dead must be buried by sundown? Considering the source, probably not.
Dr. Rangel offers elucidating commentary on the plight of the poor French MD's who are desperately trying to hide what is wrong with YassEr Arafat.
Dr. Rangel proposes Arafat has end-stage liver disease (cirrhosis), and he offers a compelling rationale.
I have a different theory, somewhat, and here's the encapsulated form followed by a longer explanation:
YASSER DRINKS CONTAMINATED WATER---->VIRAL HEPATITIS----->SUBACUTE FLU-LIKE ILLNESS----->ELEVATED WBC'S/LOSS OF APPETITE----->LOW PLATELETS A SECONDARY PHENOMENON----->EGYPTIAN MD'S PANIC AND DX LEUKEMIA SEND HIM TO FRANCE---->FRENCH DOCTORS IN A PANIC ORDER ALL TESTS UNDER THE SUN----->DURING ONE OF THE TESTS THEY ADMINISTER TOO MUCH INTRAVENOUS SEDATIVE----->YASSER GOES INTO RESPIRATORY ARREST---->THEY DON'T HAVE THE ANTIDOTE IN THE CRASH CART (OR THEY DON'T HAVE A CRASH CART)----->BY THE TIME THEY INTUBATE HIM HE HAS SUFFERED MASSIVE HYPOXIC INJURY TO BRAIN---->HE'S ON A RESPIRATOR AND "CHEMICALLY" BEING PARALYZED UNTIL THEY CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO PRETEND THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE
What follows is the long version, which began in RangelMD's letter section as a response to Dr. Rangel's theory that Arafat has end-stage liver disease/cirrhosis:
One reason I chose to opt for the less severe liver "inflammation/infection" rather than end-stage cirrhosis is that there should be no issue about the diagnosis if indeed Y.A. has end-stage cirrhosis/liver failure.
In that case he would have a shrunken, irregular liver and he should have already been suffering from long-term sequelae such as (usually very noticeable) ascites and portal hypertension. There usually is no secret in end-stage cirrhotics.
More importantly, maybe, in the pursuit of this riddle is: why would they hide that diagnosis from the public? They do not have to invoke alcohol as an etiologic agent (Middle Easterners can get cirrhosis from other causes like schistosomiasis which are easy to accept).
I think they have 2 problems: 1. They are lost in the pursuit of a diagnosis; and, 2. They messed up during one of his diagnostic tests and he coded and now he's on Pavulon on a respirator (that's the "reversible coma") so #1 is no longer important. They probably gave him too much Lidocaine during the LP or something and he had a dysrhythmia and they screwed up the code (maybe they were holding the ECG tape upside down) and blew his cortex to smithereens and now it's all over except for everyone to get chewed out at M&M conference (oops--they don't do that in France I bet)...
I think the final diagnosis is going to be Hepatitis and iatrogenicide. He had hepatitis all along (viral illness, flu like, elevated WBC, elevated LFT's, inanition) and they got so crazy flying him to Paris and rushing to rule out Leukemia that they killed him in the process.
Hmmm...will this change FraNco-Arab relations? And NEXT time, maybe they should follow Bill Clinton's lead and pack their IMPORTANT people off to Columbia Presbyterian...
Posted by Doctor CBB on November 08, 2004 at 03:57 PM | Permalink
http://codeblueblog.blogs.com/codeblueblog/2004/11/csi_medblogs_a_.html
Will you guys keep it down!
I'm on the phone with by bankers in Zurich!
Reuters now reporting he's, well, dead.
Does he get a new set of virgins each time he dies ?
Damnit Yassar lie still while we nail you in this coffin!
He's still kicking and scatching inside this coffin, but he's still dead!
Anyway, you know how these fanatical muslims lie!
Rotflol!
That's what's happenin'....virgin inspection and rejection.
(Reminds me of the Virginian joke -- does anyone have it?)
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
ROTFL
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1275246/posts
Yasser Arafat 'Dead' - Palestinian Sources Say (Maybe)
LOL!
That's an American doc fer sure! (My surgeon talks just like that - kept me laughing so hard during surgery (I hate general anesthesia) that I kept asking him, "Doc, are you SURE your scalpel isn't going to slip?")
Has anyone seen Kevin Kline? Just a thought ...
From a medical viewpoint a coma has degrees of severity. It is measured by an APGAR score, which is the same method that they use to measure the viability of a newborn. One method is to give you a pain stimuli and record whether you react to that stimuli.
Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead!
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. "He's" gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!
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