Posted on 11/06/2004 6:15:21 PM PST by Dubya
For die-hard Democrat Theresa Hudgins, who is surrounded by Republicans at work and at home, the doldrums took hold on election night and haven't let go.
"I was just bawling," said Hudgins, a Grapevine hairstylist. "Everyone is so happy -- my husband's got a real spring in his step because Bush won -- but I'm just really sad. It's going to be a very long four years."
While many were elated with the election results, others like Hudgins are experiencing post-election depression.
Although it's too soon to diagnose this phenomenon as clinical depression, plenty of folks who pinned their hopes on John Kerry are singing the blues.
The election returns made Mike McClure of Fort Worth physically sick.
"Wednesday I had a stomachache," he said. "It's more than mental -- it's a physical drag on me."
This was a fiery election year overflowing with often-contemptuous talk about morals, religious faith and family values.
Some people really are depressed, and their reaction goes way beyond politics, said Mary Lynn Crow, a Fort Worth psychologist.
"The issues and ideas that motivated voters this year are very personal and very deep," she said. "Now you've stepped into people's personal value systems."
Living in Bush country hasn't made it any easier for Kerry supporters.
"The victors always feel differently than the vanquished," said Jim Quick, professor of organizational behavior at the University of Texas at Arlington. "But we as Americans have a strong history of reaching out to those who have been defeated."
Hudgins said she would like to have a shoulder to cry on but does not dare share her disappointment with her pro-Bush pals.
"I don't know how I'll cope," she said. "You know you need to talk about it, but you don't want to talk about it when everyone else is so happy about Bush."
Democrats in offices filled with Republicans don't have an opportunity to commiserate, said Michael Katovich, professor of sociology at Texas Christian University.
"It's easier when they are in an environment where other people have the same expectations and can heal together," he said.
But in some offices and homes, people have to keep their feelings to themselves and just deal with it. That can be tough, especially for those coping with an unanticipated loss, Katovich said.
In this case, it appeared that Kerry had an opportunity to win; it looked like the election would be close, that he might squeak by, he said.
"It was different from Reagan years when the Democrat would lose by a landslide and people had already pre-rationalized the defeat," he said. "This was a loss that may have been unexpected even the day of the election, and that might contribute to the gloominess."
Now people have to come up with some other rationalization for what happened, he said.
McClure tried that.
"For a split second I told myself, 'Okay, I do love my country, and I don't want to work against the grain,' " he said.
"I listened to the victory speech and the press conference, but in the end I decided, 'Nah, this isn't going to work.' "
While some people might truly think they're depressed over the election, in most cases they're really just disappointed, said Robin Jarrett, professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas.
"The election was just Tuesday, and in order to have a diagnosis of depression, it has to last two weeks or more and be associated with functional impairment," she said.
Disappointment, on the other hand, is a part of life.
"We all have disappointments and are exposed to situations that cause grief and sadness," she said. "Like the Rolling Stones said, 'You can't always get what you want.' "
To feel down after the election is appropriate, Quick said.
"To feel hopeless is not," he said.
If that feeling of hopelessness lags on for weeks and is associated with other symptoms of depression, the person should seek professional help, experts say.
But for most people, agreeing to disagree might be the best approach.
"If you think that you have to agree with people on everything, then you won't have a relationship unless it's with a clone," Crow said. "People have to decide to reach across party lines if they want to have any kind of relationship at all."
IN THE KNOW
What is depression?
Symptoms are:
Feeling sad, anxious or down
Having less interest in pleasurable activities
Feeling guilty, worthless, helpless or hopeless
SOURCE: National Institute of Mental Health
Dealing with disappointment
Here are some tips on coping after the election:
Give yourself time. Be patient. What you're going through now is similar to the mourning process.
Make civility a priority. Show kindness and consideration to heal the rifts that have formed in communities.
Take a break from hot-tempered media. Television, radio and the Web are bursting with pundits eager to inflame your loathing for the other side. Do you really want to wallow in their venom?
Work, don't sulk. Just because the vote didn't go your way doesn't mean it's time to give up. Channel the passion you felt during the 2004 race into something productive like raising money for a cause you believe in or running for office yourself.
Act like a grown-up. When the anger of the campaign boiled over, it led to some pretty juvenile behavior, like the stealing of campaign yard signs.
Find common ground. Talking to the opposition may be the last thing you want to do, but to tackle long-term issues such as health care and terrorism, Americans need to reach a consensus.
See the big picture. Although it feels as if America has never been more divided, history begs to differ. The summer of 1968? The Civil War? America has been through worse.
SOURCE: Knight Ridder Newspapers
Am I supposed to feel sorry for these mental midgets?
"It's easier when they are in an environment where other people have the same expectations and can heal together," he said.
I hope they don't let the door hit them in the back on their way to CA.
Somebody call a Whaa...mbulance.
"I was just bawling," said Hudgins, a Grapevine hairstylist...
WTH is a grapevine hairstylist?
Man, these sob stories keep comin and comin! I'm loving it! The world will not end, folks, it's getting better, trust me.
"McAuliffe said we'd win for sure...that John Kerry's the cure
And almost every night I watched Fahrenheit
I think the world's gone insane"
Grapevine is the name of a town. Thats about where DFW Airport is located.
Damnit! People! It was JUST AN ELECTION AND YOUR CANDIDATE LOST. GROW UP!!!!
God...I can't believe the way these people are carrying on about the election. If Bush had lost I would have been upset, just like in 1992 when Clinton won, but I got over it and life went on.
I think this is just another media stunt
I had thought of this. I wonder what that one person in the office is doing in TX working in defense.
Repeat after me: Never vote for a man who uses the word " giddy" and refers to another man, his running mate as "fabulous".
They have no coping skills. Their success depends on what someone else does-not on what THEY do. How sick is that???
BTW: I sent your gif to my daughter today. I think it's a HOOT!!!:-)
Grapvine is a city near Dallas/Fort-Worth not a hairstyle
Grapevine Tx
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