Mark Steyn : Believe It Or Not, It Wasn't Just Rednecks Who Voted for Bush

The Telegraph ^ | November 7, 2004 | Mark Steyn

[quidnunc]

The big question after Tuesday was: will it just be more of the same in George W Bush's second term, or will there be a change of tone? And apparently it's the latter. The great European thinkers have decided that instead of doing another four years of lame Bush-is-a-moron cracks they're going to do four years of lame Americans-are-morons cracks. Inaugurating the new second-term outreach was Brian Reade in the Daily Mirror, who attributed the President's victory to: "The self-righteous, gun-totin', military-lovin', sister-marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', non-passport-ownin' rednecks, who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land 'free and strong'."

Well, that's certainly why I supported Bush, but I'm not sure it entirely accounts for the other 59,459,765. Forty five per cent of Hispanics voted for the President, as did 25 per cent of Jews, and 23 per cent of gays. And this coalition of common-or-garden rednecks, Hispanic rednecks, sinister Zionist rednecks, and lesbian rednecks who enjoy hitting on their gay-loathin' sisters expanded its share of the vote across the entire country — not just in the Bush states but in the Kerry states, too.

In all but six states, the Republican vote went up: the urinating rednecks have increased their number not just in Texas and Mississippi but in Massachusetts and California, both of which have Republican governors. You can drive from coast to coast across the middle of the country and never pass through a single county that voted for John Kerry: it's one continuous cascade of self-righteous urine from sea to shining sea. States that were swing states in 2000…

-snip-

[spodefly]

BTTT

[nothingnew]

Thanks S&A...that was the quickest Q-Flu shot I've ever seen.

FMCDH(BITS)

[Savage Beast]

"The self-righteous, gun-totin', military-lovin', sister-marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', non-passport-ownin' rednecks, who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land 'free and strong'."

Self-righteous: Y'got me there.

Gun-totin': Well I do have a few, for protection, and I know how to use them, but I am a vegetarian, do not like hunting, and prohibit hunting on my property. So I don't tote them very often.

Military--lovin': You got me again. I love the military and the men and women who serve in it. They have my most profound respect.

Sister-marryin': Yuk. You leftists are sick. Incest and other forms of sexual depravity are in the bailiwick of the Leftists not healthy people.

Abortion-hatin': Yes. However, I do think that it should be safe and legal.

Gay-loathin': Wrong again! I've got great homosexual friends--both men and women! I'm very fond of them.

Foreigner-despisin': Wrong. I love them.

Non-passport-ownin': Wrong again! I've had passports most of my life and use them extensively. I've travelled--and lived--all over the world.

Redneck: Wrong again! It's not even tanned.

As for the rest (**blush**)--I hate to brag--but what can I say?!?? My land is certainly free and strong and courageous and ascendant! In fact--it's the greatest nation the world has ever known. God has surely blessed America and shed His grace on her! But I never thought to attribute it to my...personal qualities.

So how's that? You got 3 out of 9 right, and there was one that I didn't know how to grade.

Not too bad, but you still flunk--you dumb klunk!

[investigateworld]

I just spilled some Hoppes No. 9 into my keyboard I was laughing so hard.

[HarryCaul]

"Moral issues" were cited as the most important factor by 22% of the people in exit polls. While this is more than any other factor, it's hardly the overwhelming factor it's made out to be.

This is an attempt at spin to paint those who voted for Bush as Jesus-freaks, so that they can be dismissed. It's shameless, it's cynical, it's sick. Don't let them get away with it.

[billhilly]

Steryn writes lovingly of the pissed off and the pissed on.

[chiller]

later

[HiTech RedNeck]

However, I do think that it should be safe and legal

Stuff it beast.

[HarryCaul]

Oh, the other factors? Economy 20%, Terrorism 19%, Iraq 15%. Moral issues might be number one, but it's not a runaway issue.

[Richard Kimball]

The World War II generation is passing away. I mourn this, as it was the generation of my father. However, much of Democrat success, such as they've had, since McGovern, Kerry, the SDS, and other Communists made the party their home, has come from the World War II generation.

They were more sure-footed than the later generations, and more dedicated. They didn't change political parties. I know many people in small town Texas who abhor what the Democrats do, but they go out and vote for Franklin Roosevelt again every election. They're passing away, now. Most are in their seventies and eighties. The change in voter registration is because the newest generation of people over sixty don't remember Roosevelt. The Democrats must now win without the votes of social conservatives who never really understood what the Democrats had become.

They thought they had found the mother lode in young people who would vote for them because Cameron Diaz and Whoopie Goldberg wander drunkenly out on stage and declare that Bush is a demon. They thought they'd found another group of voters who would vote for them without knowing what they are. It didn't happen. They're in dire straits right now, and I'm happy about it. But I will miss those WWII veterans and widows, even though they voted for the wrong people.

[MissouriConservative]

Redneck?....Do they think they are insulting us?

The term "redneck" is often misunderstood by those north of the Mason-Dixon line. Many Yankees misunderstand this beloved term of endearment and treat the word as if it were some kind of insult. A true Southerner understands that achieving the state of Redneck is a noble pursuit. The guiding principles of Redneck philosophy are easily misunderstood by outsiders, so let's take a closer look at the goals of those who strive for the state of Redneck.

The Redneck Theology

being a "real" Redneck means much more than driving a pick-up truck and naming your dog Bubba. Rather, a true Redneck does not feel the need to impress people with the outward trappings of their Redneck lifestyle and is perfectly comfortable in an Armani suit and BMW.

Without trying to sound too much like Jeff Foxworthy (a great comedian, but a tad misinformed about Redneck theology), let me try to explain the basic tenets of achieving a state of Redneck:

* Sense of inner Peace - The true Redneck is at-peace with the world. They always feel safe (not just because they have guns in every room of their home), and they are not concerned with what others may think of their Redneck lifestyle.

* High sense of Duty and Honor - A true Redneck will defend their Sacred Honor and will not tolerate those who disparage their families, traditions or loved-ones. Many a surprised New Yorker has pondered this while visiting the Emergency Room after flipping-off a Redneck.

* Disregard for Time - A true Redneck does not respect man-made timelines and lives life one day at a time. A true redneck may put a car up on-blocks for a decade before restoring it.

* Disregard for man-made Mores - A true Redneck will follow their tastes and desires without regard for social customs and "appropriate" behavior. Because the Redneck is not constrained by outsider opinions and Madison Avenue dictates about taste, they are free to embrace whatever they like without guilt or remorse.

* Eschews wealth - My cousin Sara-Ruth lives on land with a massive garden and all of her own livestock. She even has a banana tree and the only things she buys are sugar and coffee. Her house and property were paid for centuries ago when our great-great-great Grand-daddy Aaron Burleson received it from the Continental Congress, thanking him for fighting in the American Revolution. They live a simple and free life with none of the conventional worries about money and impressing the Jones's.

Living around rednecks has had a profound effect on my way of looking at life. I once visited a cousin in my fancy new car and made what Rednecks Theologists call the "sin of pride" when I mentioned that my new car costs me a fortune. In good humor he pointed over to a giant farm tractor and said "Wall, I'm impressed. See that reaper over there? She cost me over $200,000, I paid cash money, and I reckon only take her out a few weeks a year". Man, did I feel humbled in the presence of such profound Redneck wisdom, and I never bragged to anyone again.

Sure, the tenets and promises of the Redneck Theology seem like unachievable goals, but I'm told that with years of conscientious study and practice, a true state of Redneck is achievable, even for a sinner like me.

Southern Redneck Theology

[Dog Gone]

Great column. Thanks for politely posting all of it.

[Dan from Michigan]

Don't know why. My wife and I are both senior senior citizens, and we would have crawled over broken glass to vote for Dubya

Two reasons.
1. A lot of them think the republicans are going to take away their social security.
2. Most apt to believe that "Democrats for the workin' man" bull. Many think FDR is still running the party.

[Eagles6]

Maybe the libs don't urinate. This would explain a lot. The eurotrash the, u.n and the demorats all have one thing in common. They are swiftly becoming irrelevant and just don't know it. It's American Rednecks who have saved the world and it just pisses them. Their hysterical diatribes just give evidence to their madness. Anyone who lives his life understanding the concept of good and evil or that if something is wrong, then it's always wrong is just to simplistic for for their refined tastes. Oh well, we won they lost.

[tophat9000]

What the Europeans don't get is the Americans are the descendant of Europeans (and the rest of the worlds peoples) that were treated as peons in there orginal lands... that we have been leaving Europe for close to 400 years... it is the American tradition to get as far away from Europe as possible and to go our own way... it was an anolamy for American to be so close to Europe the last 50 years because Europe need our help in fact cried out for it (really what was in it for us) but deep down Europeans still always think and act that they are our better that Americans are only fit to be fodder for Europeans ruling classes follies... So Americans leave Europe again in spirit and the Europeans cries out "how uppity of American not to mine there betters..."

[Ruth A.]

non-passport-ownin'

hehehe I had no idea that not owning a passport was despicable. Now, I would have expected "non-foriegn language speakin'". Yep, I'm in that category, too. If I never left America, I would not be heartbroken. If I ever saw everything I want to see in the USA, then I would consider myself fortunate, indeed.

[Ruth A.]

Just for once post the whole Steyn article.....just once.

I wish he would just alert one decent pinger and let them post the article.

[okokie]

Why are "they" Elite??? I don't get it???

The Clinton's are FROM a red state, (Arkansas)- Bill used the White House for his sexual escapades, wife is a socialist- they trashed the White House when they moved out

The Kerry's: John, a commie, married for money, wife is a lush, kids showed up in see through clothes and cursing, ran up unneccesary expenses

Hollywood- most of them didn't even graduate from high school

The Media ELITE??? EXCUSE ME...

[tkathy]

Absolutely hysterical.

[Happygal]

I was always of the impression that Mark Steyn was a Canadian, now living in the UK?