Dear Friends, Dear Idiots,
Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!' There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.
Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:
Here’s one reason to slit your wrists…Fat-ass Moore is your spokesman!
1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
AT THE MOMENT!
2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.
STOP BEING A SORELOSER! WE WON, IN SPITE OF RAT VOTER FRAUD!
4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)
Ever hear of the SILENT MAJORITY…dumbass!
5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
Wanna bet we win this…the campaign for 2006 is just around the corner…many moderate DEMS on the line. They will not get in this crossfire.
6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!
That’s a start...that’s what the losers won the last time…in fact we ADDED two states to our column…loser!!!
12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.
YUKE!!!! Jen and Barbra now feel like they need a bath when Fatass talks about’em.
14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
Hey fatass…the lame Duck is Kerry and Edwards…you and the rest of the media elite aren’t just lame…your worse than lame…you are irrelevant!!
Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
Feeling better??? Moore loser talk. We don’t feel better…we feel great and always did!!!
I don't think that Woodrow Wilson quote is even close to being true - can someone check?