Thanks for the laughs PS......
"HELLO, WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE......"
"If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly."
"If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2."
"If you have multiple personalities, please press
3,4,5 and 6."
"If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call."
"If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press."
"If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press! No one will answer!"
"If you are suicidal, call someone who cares!"
If you are from DU, press nothing. Wait for a government representative to come by and tell you what to do.