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To: neverdem

My boyfriend had atypical Parkinson's Disease. It started when he was in his forties and developed with a mixture of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's symptoms, also including paranoia and, at times, violent outbursts. He died after twelve years -- from a brain tumor that hadn't shown up on MRVs a year earlier. I empathize with all who have to care for these patients. And decisions about what to do become more complicated still when the individual is not married. Note that all these stories involve people who -- for all their suffering -- are lucky enough to have a devoted spouse who will devote himself totally to their welfare. When you are not married to the ill person and have to earn your own living, the choices become even more difficult.
I had my boyfriend committed once because he was threatening suicide -- and seemed to want me to take this action. After that, however, he became more secretive. Drug addicts preyed on him, pretending to be his friends and running up enormous credit card bills ($67,000)by taking out cash advances. At times he wanted to be rescued by me, at other times he insisted on seeing these people and there was nothing I could do. He punched a stranger on the street and knocked him down. When I let him stay at my apartment, he could not be left alone for an hour -- started fires,called our friends to complain that I was holding him prisoner, and so on. Unlike the patients in the article, he still youthful looking and powerfully built, so if his medication was working it wasn't always obvious how sick he was. I lived in terror that he would end up arrested.
Though it was clear to me that he was not competent, he managed to pull himself together during visits to his doctors and pass their tests, so he was not considered a candidate for residential care. He could turn on the charm and seem like the most reasonable person in the world. I was the villain for thinking it might be necessary to hospitalize him.
I'm sure this case isn't unique -- and in the future,with so many adults who are single, divorced or otherwise alone, the problem will become more acute.


32 posted on 11/02/2004 12:16:41 PM PST by joylyn
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To: joylyn

Your love and care were phenomenal, and God will surely bless you for it.


34 posted on 11/02/2004 12:35:38 PM PST by Judith Anne (The last time Kerry said "Reporting for duty!" he betrayed his comrades, his flag, and his country.)
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