Posted on 10/31/2004 5:53:26 AM PST by raccoonradio
I was on C-SPAN for three hours Friday, and my conclusion is, if George W. Bush is re-elected next week, they're going to have to put on another shift at the Prozac factory.
Of course the C-SPAN audience is not a microcosm of America. Its viewers seem to be predominantly old men, shut-ins, mitten-knitters and collie dogs who should know better, as another public-affairs TV audience was once described.
Surprisingly, though, many have mastered e-mail, and even the 90-year-olds are able to fire off nasty, obscene missives, some of which are almost intelligible, if you have a third-grader in the house to translate the bad spelling.
Anyway, I did three hours of my radio show for C-SPAN, giving out my e-mail address twice an hour. By yesterday, I had several hundred messages, some of them nice, but more like this one, from someone named Margaret Freancel, who writes in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
``I BELIEVE,'' she begins, ``THAT SENATORS ARE ELECTED EVERY TWO YEARS SO DOESN'T THAT MEAN THAT JOHN KERRY [related, bio] HAS BEEN ELECTED AND RE-ELECTED 10 TIMES BY THE PEOPLE OF MASSACHUSETTS?? . . . DUH!! DO YOU THINK WE ARE ALL STUPID??''
No Margaret, I don't think all of you are stupid. But since you believe that a senator's term of office is two, rather than six years, I'm going to have to put you down in the DUH!! category.
Tony Hoff: ``You sir are a fat interupting (sic) FOOL. You are a broken record for the Facist (sic) Right and you should be removed from the air. Shut up you FOOL FOOL FOOL.''
Todd Bolitho: ``You stupid MOTHER (EXPLETIVE). You stupid MOTHER (EXPLETIVE). I will certainly tell anyone who will listen just what a bastard you really are.''
Why do they take it out on me? I wasn't the one who told Osama bin Laden to endorse their man, John Kerry. From the frothing hatred they have of Bush, you'd think he represented a serious threat to their SSI checks. Memo to Kerry voters: Bush has been president for four years, and you're still on the dole. Have any mean-spirited Republicans insisted that you go out and get a job?
Sen. John Sununu phoned in and I speculated that perhaps the PC Red Sox ownership had pressured Curt Schilling not to attend the Bush rallies in New Hampshire. That really drove them crazy down in God's waiting room in Florida, where the C-SPAN audience is concentrated.
Lepolin, Panama City: ``Of all people how doe's (sic) that sound coming from you neo-cons when you are the main people to try silincing (sic) people by trying to boycott them and when are you going to come up with some better lies cant (sic) you be more inventive(?)''
I'll improve my lying, Lepolin, when you improve your spelling.
Another issue that really drives them crazy is when you bring up that Kerry's gold-digging wife only pays 12 percent of her income in taxes - less than families struggling by on $35,000 a year.
Grandmabear51: ``Senator Kerry will be changing that and even his wife will have to pay her fair share.''
You gotta be kidding, 51. It's clear from Mama T's rabid tax avoidance that, like Leona Helmsley, she believes that taxes are only for the little people. ``I already voted,'' Grandmabear51 continues, ``for JOHN KERRY, OUR NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.''
Somebody stop them, before they capitalize again. And before we have means-testing for Social Security, how about spelling tests for these tax-fattened hyenas before they're allowed to vote?
"What a sexy bald bastard!"
Sexy????
* cough * cough *
One of my recent hate mailings:
Dear Click and Clack,
Curses and maledictions on your hate mail.
I have been a steady listener for the last couple of years and enjoy the
show immensely. It is about the only time my radio isn't tuned to Rush
Limbaugh or Country Classics.
However.
I recently cruised over to the "Hate Mail" link on your web page,
http://cartalk.cars.com/Mail/Hatemail-2/. You call this pile of bilge hate
mail? I get worst emails from my wife. Tommy would understand.
Where are the death threats, the vituperation, the vulgarity? In place of
the abuse, vitriol, vilification, slander, calumny, epithets, cheek and
contempt which I so eagerly anticipated (and y'all so richly deserve) I
found whining, mewing, self-pitying bathos.
Consider this letter hate mail to your discontented listeners. Okay, people,
how 'bout some real animosity, laced with open enmity, bitter hostility and
active hatred. If this is best you can do, may be you should be listening to
Dr. Laura or Howie Carr. I know you can do better. Look at the letters you
send to your Senator every time a Republican from Mississippi (quelle
horror!) is nominated to the Federal bench.
-Lonesome in Massachussets
Howie's show was one of the few good things I lost when I escaped from MA back to God's Country...
Nothing is more patent, indeed, than the fact that charity merely converts the unfit - who, in the course of nature, would soon die out and so cease to encumber the earth - into parasites - who live on indefinitely, a nuisance and a burden to their betters. H.L. Mencken
This would have made a great book and Howie would be a millionaire today. Howie has so many John "live shot" Kerry tales. The ones about chasing women after his separation and divorce would have sold the book.
So the Donks have Michael Moore sliming Bush, we could have had as good from Howie. The expose of exposes on John effin'Kerry
Kind of reminds me af the stuff that Paul Greenberg knew about Clintoon that noone listened to either.
Howie won't publish his columns into a book (I think he should) though he does have a book coming out next year
about the Boston Mob (Whitey Bulger etc)
Young woman in a bar: "Why can't you make a commitment to any issue, Senator Kerry?"
Semi-plastered Kerry: "I am ready to make a commitment to you, babe."
see 28
That was Kerry three sheets to the wind in a Newbury St bar. Owned by the Lyon's brothers right near Mass Ave
There may be more skeletons tumbling out of Kerry's closet, according to WRKO-Boston radio talker Howie Carr. In his own Boston Herald column last December, Carr recalled one long-ago episode where the presidential candidate attempted to woo "a luscious young gal pal" of a Boston nightclub owner.
"One night, they're all getting down, and among the guests is a four-sheets-to-the-wind Liveshot [Carr's knickname for Kerry]. The girl, who's up on current events, starts tearing into Kerry for his weathervane-like voting record, telling him he needs to make a 'commitment.'
"'Baby,' he finally says, swaying ever so slightly in the breeze, 'I am ready right now to make a commitment. To you.'"
http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:gTwZrFl4q0EJ:www.howiecarrsucks.com/article.php%3Farticle_id%3D974%26type%3Dcomment+I+am+ready+to+make+a+commitment+to+you,+babe+carr+kerry&hl=en
ah yes, Car Talk! Click link below (too long to repro here) for some of their "credits"
http://www.cartalk.com/content/about/credits/credits.html
Airline Seat Tester: Wilma Butfit
Communications Director: George Stayontopothis
Poet Laureate: Robert Defrost
Director of Country Music: Stan Beyerman
Head of Working Mother Support Group: Erasmus B. Dragon
Lighting Expert: Shanda Lear
Haven't been there in awhile, but the Car Talk guys paid someone in Harvard Sq. to put a sign on a second (or
third?) floor window letting you know it's the office
for their attorneys, Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.
Lepolin, Panama City: ``Of all people how doe's (sic) that sound coming from you neo-cons when you are the main people to try silincing (sic) people by trying to boycott them and when are you going to come up with some better lies cant (sic) you be more inventive(?)''
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22%27I+am+ready+right+now+to+make+a+commitment%22&hl=en&lr=&selm=3ef513b0.16458849%40netnews.attbi.com&rnum=1
From WRKO's Howie Carr:
Kerry has so much clout, the city moved a fire hydrant from in front of his wife's Beacon Hill mansion. But above all else, the man is a gigolo's gigolo. How many guys could dump a first wife from a blueblood family worth $300 million, and end up on the rebound with a second wife worth $600 million?
`Here's another Liveshot (Kerry's sordid nickname) story, told to me by a major Boston nightclub owner who had a luscious young galpal. One night, they're all getting down, and among the guests is a four-sheets-to-the-wind Liveshot. The girl, who's up on current events, starts tearing into Kerry for his weathervane-like voting record, telling him he needs to make a ``commitment.''
``Baby,'' he finally says, swaying ever so slightly in the breeze, ``I am ready right now to make a commitment. To you.''
In those days, before he tracked down 63-year-old ketchup heiress Teresa Heinz, Liveshot was known as a cheapskate tipper. Between heiresses, he could flash cash for a convertible and a fancy imported motorcycle, yet he had nothing to give to charity. Beautiful People seldom do, have you noticed?
But the 58-year-old boytoy has changed his ways. He no longer flies to Florida on private jets belonging to S&L bandidos. No more quick flips of condos to raise cash.
Now he summers at the Heinz mansion on Nantucket, and when he has a party, the servants haul porta-toilets onto the spacious oceanfront lawn so that the hoi polloi need never defile the master's water closet.
Speaking of plebeians, do you recall the late state rep from Revere, Billy Reinstein? During one of his occasional meet-the-peasants tours, Liveshot deigned to address some legislators. Reinstein told his pals, watch this, and then sauntered up to Kerry and introduced himself - as Butch Cataldo, the state rep he'd defeated to win the seat.
``Why Butch, good to see you again!'' Liveshot began. ``How are you doing Butch! How's the family, Butch!''
Bush vs. Kerry. Andover vs. St. Paul's. Yale '68 vs. Yale '66. Right now you'd have to bet on Bush, unless the game is marrying heiresses.
I moved away from Mass. about a year ago. The other day, my wife and I were reflecting on the things we missed about the place. Howie Carr was the top item on my very, very short list.
Why are the left so against social Darwinism? They're Darwinist, they're socialist.
Why do I have to hand over 2/3 of everything I make to people who can not compete with, and beat, 4'11" Mexicans with a lawn rake and a strong back?
My modest submissions to the credits were:
Marriage Counselor: Marion Haste (taken up)
Chief Horologist: Anna Lemma (declined)
I like to joke that I became self-employed so I could listen to at least a little bit of Rush and Howie each day. The truth is that I'd go nutty up here in Boston without my daily double dose of sanity.
It was great watching the Howie show on CSPAN. It was Radio Verite! (sorry, too lazy to look up the code for an e with accent aigu)
Loved seeing Osama bin Meehan's expressions each time Howie gave him the needle (not a little flu-shot needle, not a big spinal tap needle, but a hugh [sic] foot-long amniocentesis needle).
He knew Howie was right each time, but had to keep spouting the Party Line. Looked like a little boy caught in lie, who can't come clean, 'cause he knows he'll get a worse whoopin' if he 'fesses up. Priceless!
It had been four years since Meehan had appeared on the show. I'm betting his next appearance will be something approaching infinity.
Loved hearing the audio feed from the booth, especially when that loony liberal lady kept calling back, over and over, trying to get back on the show after Howie cut her off.
Why is it that almost all the foaming-at-mouth ranting callers he gets are libs, drunks, Canucks, or d) All of the above? Suspect it has something to do with the far left side of the IQ bell curve.
Loved seeing his lib producer Sandy come in during a break and verbally genuflect before Kerry's chosen representative on Earth, Bishop Meehan. Was surprised her moo moo dress wasn't Monica blue, but I guess she was hoping that black would have a slimming effect. NOT!
I'm betting she wants Kerry in so he can task the Skunkworks with developing a Stealth Moo Moo.
Finally, was amazed at Howie's impressive display self-control. He held off eating a Big Mac on camera for at least an hour! I could feel his pain.
I'm betting he inhaled that baby in two, maybe three, bites as soon as the cameras went off, LOL. Probably couldn't even wait to change back into to his dirty sweatshirt and ruined his tie with burger grease!
Luvya Fat Bastard! Keep the medicine coming, we need it out here!
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