[aMorePerfectUnion]

Dear georgerichard ,

 

     Thank you for your application. As you know from the agreement you signed, there are three crucial stages you must pass through to become ...

 

America's Next Top Troll!

 

     Your essay - as published in Post #1 - was received and reviewed by our panel of expert Troll judges. Here are their comments:

 

Judge #1, Tyra Troll said... "Georgerichard, your essay seemed commonplace and devoid of any truth that would make people think. This is exactly what we look for in choosing the final three Trolls!

 

Judge #2,  Nigel Troll Barker said... "Don't you just adore my Chihuahua! Georgyrich. Listen. I look at your essay and was disappointed that you didn't include any of the common Democrat talking points we like to see! Nothing about Halliburton. No stealing the election. No selected, not elected! Where was your pretty Troll head as you wrote. I sit here in disappointment.

 

Judge #3   Janice Trollinson said... "I know I'm past my prime as a Troll, but I have lots of experience to share with you GR! Calling names was very good. It put you at the bottom of my bridge for sure. Unfortunately, you focused too much on yourself instead of criticizing the people at FreeRepublic. You actually said, "I'd like to be jailed." Where was your head girl?

 

 

Tyra Troll concluded...   "LUCKY FOR YOU georgerichy that we've had very few Troll applicants during the last week! Because of that...

 

Congratulations! You have passed through stage 1 and are still in the running to be America's Next Top Troll!

 

[next week will be the first TROLL Swimsuit Shoot]

[jellybean]

Some selected quotes from georgerichards's performance evaluation:

• "I would not allow georgerichard to breed."
• "Georgerichard is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
• "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
• "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
• "This young man has delusions of adequacy."
• "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
• "This poster is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
• "This poster should go far, and the sooner he starts, the Better."
• "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
• "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
• "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
• "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
• "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
• "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
• "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
• "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
• "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
• "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
• "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
• "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
• "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
• "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
• "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
• "One neuron short of a synapse."
• "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
• "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
• "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"