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"Money Ain't Nuthin'"
(To be sung to Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing")

I love the E-I-B...

Now look at Rush Limbaugh, that's the way to do it...
Hosts a talkshow trashin' Hypocrisy.
Rush ain't working, tells the Left to screw it...
Beholden to no one...spoutin' philosophy!
No, Rush ain't workin', that's the way you do it...
Lemme tell ya, Ol' Rush ain't dumb...
Ceegah danglin' from nicotine-stained fingers...
Gonna help exposin' Lib'ral Scum!

Rush's show ain't no Oprah-style "love-in"...
Got us brain-washed from noon-to-three-ee-ee!
You choose the issue, and we'll debate it...
We learn the Truth from the E-I-B!!

Oww!...Groovy Croonin'...hunh!...

See that Peter Jennings with the blowdry and the makeup...
Tom Brokaw's vacuous stare...
That Lib'ral Rather's got his own jet airplane...
Those IDIOTS...they're all millionaires!!

We gotta expose Guv'ment corruption...
Gotta defend our Libertie-ie-ies!
We're talkin' TREASON...the Left, they hate us...
Won't trust the news from Network TeeVee!!

Lookatdat, lookatdat...
Right's gotta learn to fight like Dem-Whores...
Right's gotta yearn to crush Dem-Bums!
Wake up, you Sheeple!! Big Guv'ment's threatnin' all your Liberties...
Man, that Slick's just pond scum!!
But Limbaugh's out there...what's that?! Chain-sawin' noises?!
Carvin' up those Lib'rals...it's brain surgery!
Folks, it's workin'...tell the Left to screw it!!
Robs YOUR money for Guv'ment...sells Nukes to Beijing!

They're Lib'rals all...reject Media Bias...
Left-Wing bitchin', "Big Guv'ment, save me-e-ee!"
We gotta oust those meek commentators...
We gotta IGNORE our State-run TeeVee!! Lord!

Owww...listen here!
Big Guv'ment ain't workin'...Corruption runs all thru it...
It's time we devolved Power outta DeeCee!!
Folks, it's workin'...Next Election's Gonna Do It!!!!
Right-Wing holds Congress...retakes the Prez'dency!!
Money ain't nuthin'...without Liberty!
I said, money ain't nuthin'...if your kids ain't free!

Algore's a...Socialist!
I want my...I need my...I love my Lib-er-ty!!

(Chorus...to fade)

Quite Sincerely--MUD (10/14/2000)