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Culture in Kansas City ?
Kansas City has got culture out the wazoo.

Museums, Galleries, Uppity Boutiques,
but more important make sure you take I-70 East
to Columbia and look for the 30 foot tall Elvis.
It's near there you'll find the Elvis Presley Memorial Musuem.
A house converted to a living tribute to the King.

Our favorite room was the one had a Walmart mannequin
wearing an Elvis wig laying in a coffin surrounded by
plastic flowers while a cassette player played an
inspiring organ rendition of "Bringing in the Sheep"
over and over and over and over.
It was spiritual experience beyond my expectations.
My wife, a former psychic for a 900 number hot line
said the spirit of Elvis was there and was so delighted
with our company he lifted one leg to cut a juicy one.

(she said Elvis did it, although I had to leave the
room as Elvis must have had white castles for lunch)
Make sure you take your best camera for pictures.

For fine dining, Kansas City also has a network of
very exclusive "Members Only" clubs. We the elite here
in the heartland call them "La' Sam's Wholesale Club"

Every Tuesday we lunch at "La'Sams" where sultry servers
hand out free egg rolls and weenies on toothpicks.
After lunch we take a stroll in the automotive section where
the romantic aroma of new tires fills the air.

Next we visit the patio furniture displays for a
light nap followed by a spirited game of dodge ball
in the toy section.

Hope you consider making Kansas City your home.
We're friendly people that obviously reek with
culture and sincerity. But also because for the
most part we just don't take ourselves very seriously.