You printed only the first few sentences of an article that was purely a joke. Look at the disclaimer at the bottom.
•protein wisdom contributed to this report while watching football and sniffing model plane glue. Not a word of it is true. Which means CBS is free to run with it should they so choose
I thought the joke was self-evident. I think Freepers are smart enough to determine that a news story using the word "pooper" is a satire.