"We are called to live so purely and peacefully that no one can say anything bad about us."
Jesus Himself, by the life He lived, proved that no matter how purely and peacefully you live your life - people will still say bad things about you (and some will even try to kill you)...
"I bristle at my fellow Christians who think that Jesus demands that we take control of the reigns of government and compel our neighbors into righteousness."
Interesting... so what's your stand on "righteous anger"?
That it isn't always appropriate. Those who use Jesus turning driving out the crooks from the temple as their guiding example of righteous anger shouldn't confuse the temple with the Capitol building. Congress is not God's House.
Read back through Paul's exhortations to the New Testament churches... I fail to find any references regarding the state other than obedience to the law and praying for leaders. It is clear from what he writes that we are to be model citizens, which should presumably include, in a democracy, being very wise and patient with regard to our public pronouncements--especially when they can reflect on the church.