I'm a married man and I've talked with women and joked with them as well about sex, sex toys, and still flirt more than when I was single. However its ALL talk and my wife knows about it etc... just because one talks or flirts does not mean one strays.
You are exactly right. However, given 30 years' of feminist "lawyeristic" rhetoric and abuses ... according to those who think only with the left cranial lobe: words equals actions. The translation being: sue anyone who disagrees with you.
Secondarily, years ago I asked one specific question in every forum I was in: if two people in different cities are doing "cyber sex" does this constitute an actual "sexual act"? In my estimate: no -- it does not constitute "doing the deed". However, poll after poll disagreed with my opinion. And on what legal grounds might these polls have been pinned to?
Also tied to feminist legalistic tricks: creating a hostile environment. Ergo, just "talking" in a certain way is esteemed to "create" the chimera of a "deed".
It's all crap, IMHO. There are words, and there are deeds/acts. It's all designed to feed the legal leviathan and totally screw up communications between people, as well as definitive logic.