[Fiddlstix]

Take nine raisins. Soak them in gin for two weeks. After the two weeks have passed, throw the damn raisins away and drink the gin.

ROFL!

Here's an oldie but goodie
Enjoy

FRUITCAKE RECIPE

1 cup water,
1 cup sugar,
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit,
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Turn off the mixer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.
If the dried fruit gets stuck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for consisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.

Who likes fruitcake anyway?

[weegee]

It isn't from Mad Magazine but it certainly reads like their humor from the days when Harvey Kurtzman edited/wrote for the magazine (mid 1950s) as well as comedians like Ernie Kovacs, Bob & Ray, et al.

I've seen it before but it IS classic.

[maxwell]

Hahaha... That looks suspiciously like one a my re-sips, bruh...