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The Streak...... Ray Stevens

SPOKEN
"Hello, ev'ryone
This is your Action News reporter
With all the news that is news
Across the nation on the scene at the supermarket
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened

SPOKEN
Yeah, I did
I's standin' over there by the tomaters
And here he comes-runnin' through the pole beans
Through the fruits 'n' vegetables
Nekked as a jaybird
'N' I hollered over t'Ethel
I said "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL"
'N' it's too late
She'd already been INcensed

(Here he comes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(There he goes)
Looka dat, looka dat
(And he ain't wearin' no clothes)

Whoa, yes, they call him The Streak
["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
Fastest thing on two feet
Looka dat, looka dat
He's just as proud as he can be of his anatomy
He gun give us a peek
Oh, yes they call him The Streak
["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He likes to show off his physique
(Looka dat, looka dat)
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' a-round invitin' public critique
["zipppp" kazoo sound]

SPOKEN
This is your Action News reporter once again
And we're here at the gas station
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened

SPOKEN
Yeah, I did
I's just in here gettin' my tawres checked
'N' he just appeared outta the back
Come streakin' around the grease rack there
Didn't have nuthin on but a smile
I looked at her and Ethel was gettin' 'er a cold drink
I hollered "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!"
But it's too late-she'd already been MOONED
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers

(He ain't crude)
(Looka dat, looka dat)
(He ain't rude)
(Looka dat, looka dat)
(He's just in the mood to run in the nude)

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak
["zipppp" kazoo sound]
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He likes to turn other cheek
(Looka dat, looka dat)
He's always makin' the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique
["zipppp" kazoo sound]

[Sound of wire-service telegraphy]

SPOKEN
Once again, your Action News reporter
In the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoff
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened

SPOKEN
Yeah, I did. Halftime, I's just goin' down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right outta the cheap seats, dribblin'
Right down the middle of the floor
Didn't have on nothin' but his Keds
Made a hook shot and got out through the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel
I said "DON'T LOOK, ETHEL"
Too late
She'd already gotten a free shot
Grandstand
Right there in front of the home team

Whoa, yes they call him The Streak
["zipppp" kazoo sound]

CLOSING
Not totally decipherable
because 3 things are going on at once
Ray is singing a verse
And the backup singers are doing (Looka dat, looka dat)
While Ray, on an overlaid track is speaking
[Fastest thing on two feet]
"Ethel, Is that you Ethel
[He's just as proud as he can be]
What do [of his anatomy] you think you're doin
[He gonna give us a peek]
You get your clothes on"
Whoa, yes they call him The Streak
["zipppp" kazoo sound]
"Ethel, where you goin'
[He likes to show off his physique]
Ethel, you shameless hussy"
[If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' a-round
Invitin' public critique]
Say it isn't SO, Ethel