[itsnevertoolate]

Crack-ups ping!

[atomicpossum]

This is staged. Are they telling me the press corps was crowded behind the line of furniture? Well, then, who took the picture? Why was that photog in a convenient position to make this false tableau?

Because it's contrived, that's why.

[Reader of news]

That liberal won't become President ever!

[mombonn]

Please, Lord, protect this nation from a Kerry presidency.

[OESY]

"Now just a minute, just a minute. I'm channeling in an answer to your question right
as we speak. OK, I have a connection to a young baby in her mother's womb. She says
to me she doesn't want to be ... aborted? What the h...? I must have a wrong number.
Uh, oh. I can't hear what she's saying anymore. Too much static. We've lost the call."

[OESY]

"Hello, hello? Is this my broker at the Iowa Electronic Markets? You know that bet
I placed on me winning the election? I think I made a mistake. Dump the political
futures contracts as soon as you can. Yeah, go short -- faster than Martha Stewart.
I've got real good insider information this time. Put my chits on Bush instead."

[OESY]

"Edwards lamely boasted, 'I would find terrorists where they are' – but not in Iraq,
the one nation miraculously free of all al-Qaida terrorists – 'and stop them and
kill them before they do harm to us.' For some reason, Democrats always feel
the need to proclaim that they would kill terrorists too – just like they must
constantly proclaim their support for 'the troops.'" -- Ann Coulter, October 7, 2004

[OESY]

"Edwards waved his girlish hands and said: 'There are 60 countries who have
members of al-Qaida in them. How many of those countries are we going to invade?'

"The Democrats' silver-tongued boy thought he had made a very clever point.
In fact, I believe this is the first time we've gotten any Democrat to admit that
the entire al-Qaida terrorist network is not living in a narrow mountainous
path between Afghanistan and Pakistan." -- Ann Coulter, October 7, 2004

Note: Caught in an apparent contradiction with previous campaign pronouncements,
John Edwards is on the brink of admitting that killing Osama bin Laden, if he isn't
already dead in some cave under tons of Tora Bora rock, will probably not end the
terrorist threat to America. The Big Question: Will the light go on, or merely flicker?