Posted on 10/06/2004 4:49:39 PM PDT by weegee
REPOST FROM MICHAEL MOORE:
Friends,
You may have heard by now that the Michigan Republican Party has called for my arrest. That's right. They literally want me brought up on charges -- and hope that I'm locked up.
No, I'm not kidding. The Republican Party, yesterday, filed a criminal complaint with the prosecutors in each of the counties where I spoke last week in Michigan.
My crime? Clean underwear for anyone who will vote in the upcoming election.
Each night on our 60-city "Slacker Uprising Tour" through the 20 battleground states, I've been registering hundreds (and on some nights, thousands) of voters at my arena and stadium events. I then ask for everyone over 23 who has never voted (or didn't vote in the last election) to stand up. I tell these slackers that I understand and respect why they think politicians are not worth the bother. I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this once. The stakes this time are just too high.
If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles, the sustenance of slackers everywhere.
I then close by having them repeat the 2004 Slacker Oath: "Pick nose! Pick butt! Pick Kerry."
It seems to have worked, as each night the volunteer tables are swamped afterwards with hundreds of new and young voters signing up to campaign for regime change for the next four weeks.
The satire of all this seems to have been lost on the Republicans. Or maybe it hasn't. The state of Michigan (where we spent most of last week) reported that over 100,000 young people recently registered to vote, a record that no one saw coming. The Slacker Tour has turned into a huge steamroller with a momentum all its own.
So, the Republican Party, to show their gratitude that so many young people will now be involved in our system, has demanded that I be sent to jail for trying to "bribe" students to vote.
Of course, this would be quite laughable if they weren't so serious about their charges. But they are. I may soon be a wanted man in Michigan -- simply because I convinced a few slackers to change their underwear and eat a healthy meal of artificially flavored noodles.
I thought I'd seen it all this year -- Disney refusing to distribute the film they paid for, right-wingers harassing theater owners who showed "Fahrenheit 9/11," conservative action groups trying to get the FEC to kick our film ads off the air, the unnecessary restrictive R-rating that forced teenagers to sneak in to see it, and all the stupid, crazy attacks on me and my movie that I've had to listen to as I watched the public ignore them and pack the movie houses anyway, where my film was being shown. And when all that failed, five different Republican groups made five different attack dog tapes (oops, "documentaries"!) against me in a period of about six weeks. But they were all so bad, so boring, so right-wing, no one wanted to watch them and they too went away, a sad waste of good videotape.
Now, after enduring all this, with no tricks left in their bag, they've just decided, "Let's toss his sorry ass behind bars -- him and his noodles and his gift of clean underwear!"
My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!
Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
miserable failure
Michael Moore advocates buying votes with beer and food(from his "Do Something" suggestions) MichaelMoore.com (Posted on 07/11/2004)
3. I Will Adopt 5 Nonvoters I Know and Take Them to the Polls.You know who they are. Your slacker friends who have given up on the whole rotten group of politicians who run this country. Or they're the people you know who have had their lives made full of hardships thanks to the policies set by those very politicians. They too, have given up. And who can blame them? Why should they waste two minutes on voting?
Of course, that is just what those in power want them thinking. The more of us who give up, the more the rich and powerful can run amok over our lives. And there is perhaps no election in our lifetime more important than this one.
Pick five of the people you know who probably aren't going to vote. Acknowledge their despair and cynicism. Don't try to talk them out of it. But gently give them pieces of information over the next few months.
And then make a plan for Election Day. Take them out to vote and out to lunch (you pick up the tab!). Or have a party that night for those who voted that day.
Or get more creative. Offer a six-pack to anyone in the office who votes (make sure you're not working in cubicles full of Republicans!). Promise to have sex with a nonvoter - whatever it takes!
Whay do the women get food and the guys get underwear ???
It seems that dumb college students (hey they are still in school because they are still learning) sell their votes cheap. In the ghetto, voters know to at least hold out for a package of cigarettes or some walking around money.
I worked today, for which I was taxed. Does he wonder why I personally hate him and would smile at his passing?
Maybe now they will pick up on the story if FReepers send them the information (and the link to Michael's own website where he STILL has this criminal proposal):
MIKE'S PLEDGE -Take the pledge to do the following four things: (http://www.michaelmoore.com/takeaction/vote/pledge.php)
Seems like the third pick would be redundant. It makes you wonder if MM is really a hired Republican agent, he's just lowered several demeaning insults in regards to Kerry voters.
or maybe he's just an idiot.
LOL! Yeah, I guess I better apply Occam's Razor for the explanation.
This makes more sense than they know.
"...clean underwear for anyone who will vote [for Kerry] in the upcoming election."
Might be considered a crime either because the law says not to do it, or because it's an insult to the unwashed.
This really does beg the question:
Where would Michael Moore get a clean pair of underwear?
If he doesn't think what he did is a crime, why is he declaring he'll avoid arrest? Why doesn't he stand and face the charges?
Whiny Crybaby. WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Pick nose! Pick butt! Put foot in mouth!
Michael Moore is the biggest crybaby of all, besides Bill Maher, Al Gore, Natalie Maines, and Adrianna Huffington.
3 things Moore-on does very well, I'm sure.
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