June 5, 2003 - a day I will never forget - the day we got the results of the amniocentesis. One can never know how you will respond to the news that you are expecting a child with special needs - in our case, a child with Down Syndrome. We struggled with the decision, but after prayer and soul searching, we both realized that God had a plan and this baby was still our responsibility. Soon we learned that we were wrong - our baby was a precious gift.
We also considered ourselves lucky - our son was born in September without any significant health issues (50% of babies with Down Syndrome have some type of heart defect). We decided that not only would our son be raised in the same manner as his older brother (3 yo), we also were determined to do everything possible to help him achieve the impossible. I cannot say enough about the job my wife has done - working with him constantly to facilitate development of motor skills, oral skills, etc. And we have also had the assistance of some amazing therapists (most provided by our state at no charge - they actually come to our home).
So what has happened in the past year? Well, for starters, our son was crawling by his first birthday - in fact, he is now all over the house into everything he can get hold of. He also pulls himself up to a standing position, eats everything in sight, plays with his older brother (actually, harasses him quite a bit), yells, laughs, giggles, cries, stretches his arms out to be held - in other words, he behaves like your typical one year old.
When I come home from work at night and look into his eyes, he smiles - a huge smile. A smile that says thank you - thank you for allowing me to come into your life. But, I owe much more to him, as he has taught me so much in his first year of life. I cannot imagine life without him.
Shortly after June 5, 2003, once we had made the decision not to terminate the pregnancy, we had pretty much resigned ourselves to being a two child family. We could not imagine taking the chance of having another child - the emotional strain alone seemed like too much to bear for a second time. After our son was born and we realized the amount of work it might take to raise him - work that will likely continue throughout our lives - we once again realized that 2 children would be it.
With hard work, prayer, and the support of family and friends, we had convinced ourselves that there was no reason to change our plans for a larger family. On June 5, 2004 (yes, June 5), we learned that we were expecting our third child! And, since then, all of the prenatal testing has come back negative! We will soon (end of January) be a three child family, just like many of our friends and neighbors. A family with three beautiful, healthy children that we love dearly - it's now just a side note that one of them happens to have Down Syndrome.
And please do me a big favor - the next time you meet an adult or child that happens to have Down Syndrome, please remember this story. Remember that a person with Down Syndrome and their family are no different than you and your family - no pity or sympathy is needed (or warranted). Don't look away - you look foolish when you do that. Rather, look beyond the disability - you will see someone that can achieve more than you can ever imagine - someone that can teach you a lot about life and God's love for all of us.
Amen! What a testimony! The Lord does only good.
Your post is a joy to read.
Having a "Special Needs" member of the family -- as you are finding out -- is indeed a great responsibility but also a great blessing.
I sometimes think the way our society is weeding the handicapped out at the root that is the womb (or as embryos, even, for those who Really like to Plan their Families or overcome their own handicap of sterility), has a twofold effect.
On a somewhat superficial and base selfish level, it leaves folks unable to appreciate how truly blessed they are to be "Ordinary." They become susceptible to the sort of morbid dissatisfaction that comes from failing to be an American Idol of some sort or which results in eating disorders, self-mutilation and other repercussions associated with having failed to be perfect somehow ... in looks, brains, talent, etc.
But there is also that fundamental level where -- absent the opportunity to learn in person that a child with brain damage or genetic malfunction is every bit your essential "equal" (or sometimes "better") as a human being and having as a given the option to kill on sight such sub-humans -- I think we end up with a very skew notion of what is and is not Essentially human.
My aunt has brain damage likely the result of being caught in the birth canal during a difficult labor. She has taught me more about what it is to be human -- or glimpse a real live angel, sometimes it's hard to tell -- than almost anyone I know.