Posted on 10/04/2004 8:47:40 PM PDT by tgslTakoma
*** twin size, flat, white sheets - you'll need three sheets for a full-size MOAB or two sheets for a MOAB Jr.
can be bought cheaply at a local thrift store, or at a local linen service - they toss their sheets when they are no longer "crisp and new"
*** several cans of the cheapest spray paint you can buy, your choice of color
I bought mine at Home Depot for $1.25/can. KMart or Walmart probably have similar or better prices
*** ten-foot lengths of 3/4" schedule 40 PVC, cut into 5-foot pieces - you'll need four ten-foot lengths for a MOAB or three for a MOAB Jr.
*** ten-foot lengths of 3/4" schedule 40 PVC - which you will cut to fit the sheets' lengths once you have them sewn together and know where your uprights will be attached (along the seam lines works for me).
*** 3/4" schedule 40 PVC couplings, NOT threaded - four for a MOAB or 3 for a MOAB Jr.
*** TWO 3/4" schedule 40 PVC elbows, non-threaded, for the ends/top cross-members
*** 3/4" schedule 40 PVC "T" couplings, to connect the middle uprights to the top cross-members - you'll need TWO for a MOAB or ONE for a MOAB Jr.
*** package of "Tie-Wraps" (zip-type multi-purpose ties) - don't worry, a hardware store will know what you're talking about when you ask for these.
*** roll of Homeland Defense Duct Tape (strapping tape will also work), to reinforce the edges of the sheets where you poke a small hole to run the Tie Wraps through to attach to the PVC poles.
*** hacksaw for cutting PVC to fit during final construction phase
OPTIONAL SUPPLIES:
*** cheap vinyl or latex glove (hairdresser hair-dye or medical exam type gloves), which you can get almost anywhere - Safeway, KMart, Home Depot, etc. - to wear while spray painting.
*** bandaid (for your spray-painting "trigger finger" - otherwise your finger will either get a blister or just be numbed for a week from holding the spray cans long enough to make your banner)
Instructions for assembly and construction:
Best to make at least a day before you need it
1. Sew the sheets together lengthwise.
2. a) Put the bandaid on your trigger finger and then put on the glove
b) Lay the sewn-together sheets out on the ground and spray paint your message (which you have already written out on a sheet of paper, counting number of letters and spaces, number of lines needed, and figured out how to fit your message on the "canvas" before you)
Note: Spray painting a message on a sheet is different than the usual spray painting jobs. Keep the can fairly close to the sheet, you will still have a mist of color beyond your letters, but don't worry - it is not visible from a distance. Also, you will keep your finger pressed down on the spray nozzle for the full length (or curve) of the letter, otherwise you will end up with blobs of paint in the middle of a letter. You want a smooth line (or curve). You'll catch the idea quickly.
Allow the MOAB to dry before bringing it inside.
3. Next step is to drill holes (straight through the diameter, from one side to the other) into the top half of your upright pieces - you will use these to run your Tie-Wraps through. I drilled six holes into the ones I used for my most recent MOAB Jr. You may want more or fewer; it's a personal preference thing, I guess.
4. Attach the straight PVC couplings to the ends of the uprights that you just drilled the holes in. Tap them on a hard surface, to be sure they are on fully and snugly.
5. Attach the 90-degree elbows to the two top/end uprights. These you will just have to push on as firmly as you can.
6. Attach the "T" shaped coupling to the top/middle upright(s) - remember you need one for a MOAB Jr. or two for a full-size MOAB. Be sure they are pushed on firmly.
7. Starting at the top of the banner ends, use your Duct Tape to reinforce the ends of the banner where you will poke a small hole to run the Tie-Wraps through.
8. Attach the banner ends to the top upright end pieces (the ones with the 90-degree elbows attached) with Tie-Wraps, running the Tie-Wraps through the Duct Tape reinforced holes you cut in the in the sheets (with a knife, ice pick or similar implement of destruction) and the holes that you drilled in the uprights.
9. Attach the middle upright(s) to the middle of the banners, at the seamline in the sheets - as you did in step #7.
10. Lay everything out on the ground again and cut your top cross-pieces of PVC to fit.
Note: Because sheets may not be exactly the same size and this isn't rocket science, your top cross-pieces may not be exactly the same length, so you may want to mark them for easier assembly on-site.
11. Admire your handiwork.
12. Disassemble the top cross-pieces from the top uprights, roll the banner up and include the bottom upright pieces in the last part of the roll-up. DO NOT DETACH the top uprights from the sheet! And don't forget to store your top cross-pieces with the rolled banner and uprights.
You are now ready to rock-and-roll!
(Unless I forgot some important step in the process.)
If you have any difficulty during your MOAB projects, Freepmail me. I will try to help clarify anything you may be having trouble with. I have a day job, and no internet access during the day, so you may have to wait a while for an answer, but I'll do my best to get back to you promptly.
Good Luck! I hope this post is helpful to you members of the right-wing PAJAMAHADEEN.
There was one point I didn't fully understand--does the duct tape really stop the fabric from tearing when you put a hole in it? Or is there some other reinforcement for the fabric?
This was great....
Thanks for your hard work!! :) ~
Supplies needed:
10,000 gallons of gasoline...
Nice work, although from the title I was expecting a recipie for the Mother Of All Burgers :-)
THIS IS A TOTALLY BAD-@SS POST!
This is exactly why FR is the best and all other news/talk boards suck. On top of the flood of timely news and breaking information, a tidal wave of reactionary conservative how-to articles bolsters the works. It's like having a right-wing Popular Science.
All hail the righteous tgslTakoma!
I don't know whether the duct tape really helps stop the fabric from tearing... mine have never torn. But I can't prove that it's because I used duct tape. It seems reasonable that it would offer some reinforcement, though. It's been kind of a trial and error process for me...
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying...
What is Chapter two?
;-)
Apply for a patent before the left steals it.
You don't even need that. I have made a few MOABs in the bathroom after some Taco Bell.
He doesn't know it yet (well, now he does), but I was hoping Staytrue could offer a signmaking chapter next.
This is excellent advice, tgslTakoma! Thank you. I'll ping my list of pajamahadeen here. ;-)
Buford makes those.
Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ‘miscellaneous’ ping list.
Great post. Thanks!
Why don't we creat a Pajamahadeen cookbook filled with great patriotic recipes and other things? If we could get it published and sold, the profits could go to support Jim and Free Republic.
pinging some of the manly men who've helped with the MOABs...
Great work, Tgsl--it's bookmarked in case we ever need one of these in TX!
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