And here's the sordid photographic evidence...
Posted on 09/30/2004 7:32:22 PM PDT by Former Military Chick
There is not a woman alive who will not sympathise with the Democrat John Kerry for doing what he did this week.
Who among us has not done the same thing? That is, made a stupid, stupid decision regarding our appearance right before a very important event.
Senator Kerry, who is trying to win the race for the White House, hit the bottle.
The fake tan bottle. Or perhaps the sun bed, nobody is sure. But whatever, the day before the first TV debate with President George Bush, Kerry turned orange.
Not a little bit orange. His face is like a Halloween pumpkin. Or, as the New York Post put it, Kerry - who is from icy Boston - suddenly has a tan "even George Hamilton would envy".
Everybody has noticed, of course. Talkback callers in the US jumped on the airwaves to have a good chuckle.
The comedian Jay Leno said that Kerry's face was, like a city faced with terrorism, on orange alert. Matt Drudge, who runs the Drudge Report website, wondered whether Kerry had been campaigning too much "in the rust belt".
The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp - which wants to get back to debating the big issues, like war - was forced to explain it. It said Kerry got the tan by basking in the sun at a football match.
The New York Post did not buy it, and nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly of Garden City Dermatology said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon." The New York Sun said Kerry's "sudden, orangey-bronze glow" was "highly unlikely" to be the real deal.
So why did he do it?
Probably because he has to face an audience of 70 million people watching the debate and he wanted to look his best. He would not be the first. John F. Kennedy was among the first politicians to use make-up for TV debates and he made Richard Nixon look tired and pale.
It is also possible that Kerry, like many older men, thought a tan would help him get the chicks in. He needs them. Time magazine said he had somehow managed to alienate women voters, who normally back Democrats over Republicans by a wide margin.
Kerry knows the debate will not be about issues, but image. Important topics will be treated superficially. But if he thinks a tan will help him woo women he is probably wrong. Surveys show they are worried about terrorism, and wonder whether he can handle the heat - and not the heat from sun lamps.
Nothing says just common man like a manicure and a spray-on tan.
And here's the sordid photographic evidence...
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