National Lampoon's MoveOnPlease.org: Democracy Inaction

National Lampoon ^ | Sept 2004 | National Lampoon

[Flashman_at_the_charge]

Polls Reporting Bush Ahead are Clearly Slanted!

To read the polls, you would think President Bush is leading John Kerry by a colossal margin, which is exactly what the Republicans (and probably Sean Hannity) would want you to believe. While there is plenty of evidence that polls are just another Karl Rove dirty trick, even if they are not, the polls reporting Bush ahead are clearly slanted. MoveOnPlease has discovered that those questioned in most every survey are largely voters who would vote for the President. At the same time, when we polled MoveOnPlease members we found the John Kerry wins almost every time.

And let’s try this one on. Since John Kerry had been leading the polls for months prior to the Republican convention, and now they say that voters are leaning toward Bush, wouldn’t these weak-knee’d,, so-called voters be considered: flip-floppers. As we know all to well, America distrusts flip-floppers, so why would we have faith in what these indecisive individuals are saying today. At best, they’re probably responding to what they think the poller wants to hear. But Who or What is really behind this conspiratorial effort?

Head pollster George Gallup, of the nefarious Gallup Poll that seems to do most of their polls on the campus of Bob Jones University just happens to be a Christian. One of those radical evangelical ones, which we at MoveOnPlease are pretty sure means he dislikes most Protestants and a good portion of those of the Jewish Faith. He recently said that "the most profound purpose of polls was to see how people are responding to God." Don't you get it? Christian. God. Religion. What does any of that have to do with our American values? No wonder Gallup polls show Bush way ahead. They're using God to win. Where's the sense of fairness? Let's be honest...how do we know if God is up to date on the latest campaign regulations or 527's. And who's going to keep God in line? We're not saying God would skirt the law. We're just saying that, hypothetically, if He did, how would we even know? He's God. He could just make everyone think that we were the ones who were the bad guys. I mean, who are you going to believe? God or the Democratic Party? George Gallup knew just what he was doing when he brought God into the Republican fold. It's just plain insidious. And now all he has to do is let God do his dirty work for him. George Gallup and God. Fighting your right to a fair choice.

Join MoveOnPlease in calling on Gallop and God to stop running polls that canvass more voters who would vote for Bush.

With the election a little over a month away, we urge MoveOnPlease members who would vote for John Kerry to respond to any phone survey then help CHANGE AMERICA FOR THE BETTER®, by contributing as much as you can to expose President Bush for what he is: the election winner if you don’t donate.

Thanks for donating with cash, check, credit card or PayPal today, and for everything you do.

Sincerely,
Wes, Les, Carrie, Barry, Peter, Skeeter, Noah and Shoah
The MoveOnPlease.org Team
MoveOnPlease.org

[Flashman_at_the_charge]

Not sure if Freepers have seen this yet but it's really pretty funny. Check out more using the source URL or go here : MoveOnPlease

[NCSteve]

Thanks, Flashman, this is one of the funniest things I've seen from NatLamp for quite a while.

[Wonderama]

LOL, I didn't think it was a joke at first, because it sounds like the real Moveon.org crowd. Great and funny.