DAMN! It's a fix I tell you a fix!
I have been lobbying so hard for Balsam Fir until those lying, bribing OAK people came in and stole it with their fancy dinners and sexy escorts.
I'm going to appeal! This is not fair and not right for America. Balsam Fir has more resin than any other fir variety! Does that mean nothing to America?
The Trees
There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.
The trouble with the maples,
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade.
There is trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream "Oppression!"
And the oaks just shake their heads
So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
"The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light."
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.