"MOS EISLEY: In other news, Captain Biggs Darklighter, USAF, crashed his F-35 in Beggar's Canyon today. Air Force authorities are investigating reports that he was trying to shoot womp-rats."
People for the Ethical Treatment of Womp-rats (PETW) spokething Ugklasjdm OOOmapxn said: "aowernk as;lierf aasdjklfh sdfioyucinm asld", which rougly translates as "I'm deeply saddened by the hideous, pointless, senseless destruction of peaceful, loving creatures. But there's good news! I just saved a bunch of money on landspeeder insurance by switching to GEICO!"