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John Ziegler's Parody Lyrics To "American Pie"
Debuted on KFI640.com Wed/Thurs, Sept 15/16, 2004
American Pie

A long, long time ago
I can still remember when Walter Cronkite told us all the news he knew, America thought that meant
what he said just must be true. We couldn’t imagine it any other way.
But Dan Rather came and made us livid,
with every flawed report he delivered,
bad news on the TV screen.
It was enough to make you scream.
I can’t remember if I cried
when I read about the memo lies,
but something touched me deep inside,
the day, 60 Minutes died. So…

Bye, bye liberal media lies.
Rather blew it, and he knew it,
seems he didn’t even try.
Those good ol’ days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They’re gone because
Rather lied.

Did you write the memos so fake,
and do you have faith they weren’t on the take,
if the L.A. Times tells you so,
and do you believe in one expert
and the little to which he’ll assert,
even when everyone else says he’s wrong. We’ll now we know those letters just can’t be right, but
Rather continues his pathetic fight. His bosses say they’ll investigate, but this looks like Watergate.
I have to say it made me smile to see the old man in such deep denial.
The day 60 Minutes died. I started singin….

Bye, bye liberal media lies.
Rather blew it, and he knew it,
seems he didn’t even try.
Those good ol’ days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They’re gone because
Rather lied.

Now for many years we had no choice,
until talk radio gave us a voice,
but that’s not how it used to be,
when reporters sang for the king and queen with the most leftist coverage you’ve ever seen, and a
voice that came
from you and me, oh and while the king was looking down, the internet stole his
thorny crown their power had been lost, their ratings this will cost, and while Koppel read a book on
Marx, the Today Show still tried to make their mark, but they were sadly in the dark, the day, that Rather lied. We were singin…

Bye, bye liberal media lies.
Rather blew it, and he knew it,
seems he didn’t even try.
Those good ol’ days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They’re gone because
Rather lied.

I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some balanced news
but she just smiled and turned away,
I went down the cable dial
where I’d heard the news years before
but the man there said the old news wouldn’t play,
in the streets the networks screamed, the papers cried, and the critics dreamed but not a word was
spoken, the satellites all were broken, and the three men now in the tightest jam, Tom, Peter, and
the lying Dan, they all had time to work on their tan, the day, the old media died, and they were
singin…

Bye, bye liberal media lies.
Rather blew it, and he knew it,
seems he didn’t even try.
Those good ol’ days of ever trusting the eye, are gone because CBS lied, They’re gone because
Rather lied.