Replies

Thursday, September 09, 2004

The Next 60 Minutes Story!

60 Minutes is prepared to break stunning news this Sunday, as John F. Kerry reveals for the first time the identity of the CIA man who gave him the magic hat!

tickticktick

"It was Dick Cheney," Kerry says.

This might seem unbelievable, but consider the facts. Cheney, when asked whether he served in Vietnam in the armed forces, has said he "had more important things to do." It now seems obvious that those more important things to do included spying in Cambodia, according to a memo that 60 Minutes has obtained from confidential sources. Our experts have verified that the document appears to be legitimate.

tickticktick

Christmas Eve, 1968

From: President Richard S. Nixon
To: Lt (j.g.) Kerry, USN

Merry Christmas! You are hereby ordered to escort CIA man and future Vice President Richard V. Cheney to Cambodia up the secret canal to Cambodia. Furthermore, upon your return to America you are to slander all Vietnam veterans by calling them baby killers and village burners. You must keep quiet about this order for the rest of your life. You are a true American hero, but this must be kept secret.

60 Minutes questioned Senator Kerry about the story. It took a little urging, but finally the gaunt solon opened his ever-present briefcase and opened up a secret compartment and removed an ancient, mildewy hat. Wordlessly, he opened up the brim of the hat and pulled out a card, on which was neatly printed, in 17-point Garamond: Property of CIA: Richard V. Cheney.

tickticktick

(Feel free to come up with your idea for 60 Minutes' next bombshell scoop and put a link to your post in the comments section)

(Satire)

http://kerryhaters.blogspot.com/2004_09_05_kerryhaters_archive.html#109439189160410949

Rather needs to be Lynndied.

So what does doing a Lynndie involve? Here are the basic instructions:

Find a victim who deserves to be "Lynndied".
Make sure you have a friend nearby with a camera ready to capture the "Lynndie".
Stick a cigarette (or pen) in your mouth and allow it to hang slightly below the horizontal.
Face the camera, tilt your upper body slightly forward but lean back on your right leg.
Make a hitchhiking gesture with your right hand and extend your right arm so that it's in roughly the same position as if you were holding a rifle.
Keeping your left arm slightly bent, point in the direction of the victim and smile.

Some images are OK, some NSFW