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James Lileks: Some Tattoos Shout About You
The Minneapolis/St Paul Star Tribune ^ | September 9, 2004 | James Lileks

Posted on 09/09/2004 12:10:53 PM PDT by quidnunc

You there: hey! You're a mother of three, a Bush voter, you sing in the church choir, you have a master's degree in pre-Renaissance art, and you have a gigantic flaming skull tattoo on your neck. Right? I know you're out there. Because every time I write about tattoos, and how I find some of the modern examples of Skin Adornment a bit excessive, I get a letter from someone who insists that she's all of the above, and there's nothing peculiar about her at all. True. EXCEPT THE GIGANTIC FLAMING SKULL TATTOO.

Let me be clear: I do not favor banning tattoo parlors. I do not favor stoning people with inky flesh, or herding them into pens, or encouraging anyone to shout FIE when they see someone who has decided to engrave his facial epidermis with a spider web for the rest of his mortal days. Whatever. Live and let live. It's your body. But after my last trip to the State Fair, I really wonder what people are thinking. …

I'm not talking about the classics — the anchor tattoo, an emblem of service, a heart with MOM, or any other small embellishments of your biceps' terrain. I mean the florid decorations at the base of the spine, the spiky tribal symbols around the neck, the elaborate tableaux on the back that look like you were horribly burned by an old YES album cover. … All I'm trying to say it this: I know you're trying to tell us something, but it's really not coming across too clearly. Perhaps if you wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it out, we'd get it.

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
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To: ClearCase_guy
When I was young, I had long hair,...

I was reading your post thinking, "but I have long hair too...?"

Then I realized you're a guy, and then I scrolled back up and saw your screen name!

LOL!

41 posted on 09/09/2004 12:59:57 PM PDT by ILBBACH (Just say no to spitballs on Nov. 2nd)
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To: tx_eggman
Nice

Does it turn into a Desert Eagle when he gains another 40 pounds??

42 posted on 09/09/2004 1:04:05 PM PDT by KosmicKitty (Well... There you go again!)
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To: Radix

Ever done any research on the incidence of brain cancer and its relationship to tongue piercings? Or, the dental problems? Don't.


43 posted on 09/09/2004 1:04:09 PM PDT by goodnesswins (VICTORY...........brings peace.)
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To: tx_eggman
Well that 'tat' reduced his life expectancy by about 2 decades. LOL
44 posted on 09/09/2004 1:05:34 PM PDT by NathanR (Santiago!)
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To: Who dat?

oww, eww, oww, eww. There are certain parts of the body that I don't think any needles should approach.


45 posted on 09/09/2004 1:05:56 PM PDT by Celtic Rose
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To: quidnunc
I mean the florid decorations at the base of the spine

Nothing says BEER REST like a nice round tatoo at the base of the spine.

46 posted on 09/09/2004 1:06:59 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (Truth, Justice and the Texan Way)
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To: quidnunc
Saturday at the beach I saw this girl wearing what I thought was a really colorful body suit.

When I got closer I saw that she was tattooed practically all over. Only in San Francisco.

47 posted on 09/09/2004 1:06:59 PM PDT by GSWarrior
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To: Billthedrill

You could get an 'M' tattoed on each buttcheek to spell 'MoM'.... Or alternatively: "WoW"


48 posted on 09/09/2004 1:09:38 PM PDT by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: quidnunc
Years ago, I was at a Tower Records (yeah, I know: "what's that?") and there was a moron at the cash register (ditto) with tattoos all over. And I mean all over.

The dolt even had spiderweb tattoos all the way down his arms, wrists, hands - right down to his fingernails; spiderwebs.

All I could think was "You're going to be at Tower Records until the day you die."

And I bet I'm right. I'd never hire someone so obviously mentally deficient. And some of my employees have some godawful tattoo messes - fortunately, concealed by clothing most of the time.

There's money to be made investing in tattoo-removal clinics.

49 posted on 09/09/2004 1:11:05 PM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: KosmicKitty
Does it turn into a Desert Eagle when he gains another 40 pounds??

I'm just hoping the barrel length remains constant under all conditions and situations.

50 posted on 09/09/2004 1:15:38 PM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: evets
Wow! Do you suppose Home Depot has an affirmative action program for overly-tattooed individuals?

Of course, it's a guarantee that you'll never get onto the management track. Poor sap will be shifting bags of cement and fertilizer around until he retires.

On the other hand, if the guy in Maryland doesn't have any other tatts on conspicuous parts of his body, he can just stop shaving his head and be just fine . . . the guy here doesn't have that option!

51 posted on 09/09/2004 1:15:57 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: Hank Rearden
There's money to be made investing in tattoo-removal clinics.

I don’t know what they do nowadays but I knew a guy that tattooed his girlfriends name on his arm. Then a decade later he was married to someone who (of course) wasn’t that girl. So at some point she gave him enough grief about it that he decided to have it removed.

Evidently it is expensive and isn’t painless. This would have been about 15 years ago, but it took him about a month and a half to get it removed and heal up. They’d burn part of it off with lasers then he’d heal up for a couple of weeks and go back. It took three trips to finally get it all.

They’ve probably improved the way they do it now but it didn’t sound like something you’d want done for you all-over-body tattoos.

52 posted on 09/09/2004 1:24:02 PM PDT by Who dat?
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To: Cogadh na Sith

OK. Now you done it.

OOOOOOOllld joke.

Young lady goes to a tattoo parlor. She gets John F. Kennedy's face tattooed on one inner thigh, and Nikita Kruschev's (former Russian President) face tattooed on the other inner thigh.

Her boyfriend gets to judge the results.

He says "The one, kind of looks like Kennedy, the other one is a fair resemblance to Kruschev, but that one in the middle definitely is Castro!"


53 posted on 09/09/2004 1:41:16 PM PDT by wizr (Without the War on Terror, you only have the Terror. Ask a Russian.)
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To: tx_eggman
Interesting one here..

Yikes. Anyone taking bets on whether or not he's running around half-cocked?

54 posted on 09/09/2004 1:46:36 PM PDT by Prime Choice (The Log Cabin Republicans AREN'T.)
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To: quidnunc
My tattoo's are not there for you to look at. I got them because I wanted them there. They say little to anyone not me and trying to explain the meanings they do have to someone not me is pointless.

Just my two cents...

55 posted on 09/09/2004 1:47:11 PM PDT by Dead Corpse (For an Evil Super Genius, you aren't too bright are you?)
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To: quidnunc

Not a Yes album cover!


56 posted on 09/09/2004 1:49:23 PM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: quidnunc

BTTT


57 posted on 09/09/2004 1:51:40 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: Cogadh na Sith

A couple of months ago one of the Reader's Digest's humorous items carried the story of a woman who had an emergency appendectomy. It seems that the woman had her pubic hair dyed green and had a tattoo of a sign reading "Keep off the grass" on her stomach. Following the woman's surgery she found a note on her bedside table from the surgeon, "Sorry, I had to mow the lawn!"


58 posted on 09/09/2004 2:01:53 PM PDT by RightWingConspirator (Glad that Ted the Boorish Drunk, Hitlery the Witch and John Fonda/Fraud Kerry are not my senators.)
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To: Constitution Day
How about this? It's tattooed on my leg, from my knee to my ankle:

Or my right arm, 3/4 "sleeved" which includes a copy of the Constitution adorned with "live free or die", a Bible directing the invisible hand of capitalism to control some gold and silver coins, a sailing ship with anchor and ships wheel, two-flamed candle inside of a coffin, and a globe and map compass?

I am surely on the sh!t list of a lot of FReepers for that! lol

59 posted on 09/09/2004 2:02:20 PM PDT by t_skoz
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To: Prime Choice

This is one of the smaller tat's in the tribal belly dance community.

There are some (like those worn by Fat Chance Belly Dance in SF) that literally encircle the waist from ribs to upper thighs. While not my personal cup of tea, they are absolutely gorgeous during a performance. They literally move and dance across the dancers muscles.

Right now, in my group of 12 (which is mostly a nice muttly mix of folk, caberet and tribal) some kind of tattoo (especially lower back) is on everyone but myself and, um, ah....

Me.

60 posted on 09/09/2004 2:03:43 PM PDT by najida (Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I am.)
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