Kerry awarded fourth Purple Heart for latest sacrifice
Washington, DC - US Democratic candidate John Kerry received another Purple Heart today. Kerry was wounded emotionally by comments originating from the group Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
The comments which criticized his previous Purple Heart awards caused the presidential candidate 2 – 3 hours of distress this past week, earning him a fourth award.
"It's a great honour," said Kerry, “I guess the people who give these out are always in a good mood when my name rolls around”.
Kerry is expected to recover from his injuries, though his military future is uncertain and the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have plans to criticize his new award.
Jeez, stand down the jerking knees.