Looking for help.

[kiss_of_angel_20]

I read an old post through here about a teen that was thrown out of her house because she got pregnant.. And that she wanted to put it up for adoption. That is why I am posting today. My husband and I are 24. He is in the U.S. Army and I am a housewife. My husband and I have been trying for over 4 years to have a child of our own. We were just told we will never be able to because we both have problems.We want so badly to have a complete family. We have looked into everything( donor sperm and eggs, adoption) and we just can not afford that kind of price tag. But we can afford to have the woman live with us during her pregnancy and take care of the medical bills. If anyone knows of a teen or young woman who wants to give her baby up please email me. Thank you.

[cousair]

I think you have posted your request on the wrong site.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Careful -- this kind of arrangement could cause a lot of serious problems that you didn't bargain for. And what sort of "medical bills" are you saying can you afford? Have you looked into embryo adoption, which costs a LOT less than donor egg, since the embryos are provided at no charge? And with no children to care for yet, it seems to me that even part-time employment at minimum wage would enable you save enough in a couple of years for any of these options -- IVF with donor egg/sperm, embryo adoption, or traditional adoption.

[perfect stranger]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1198489/posts

[tricky_k_1972]

I admire your courage in this endeavor. I hope you find what you’re looking for and I will most assuredly pass along anything I can to help. If you need someone to talk to on the subject I listen to a guy called Glenn Beck on the radio that has been going through a similar problem and is now in the process of adopting a child. He is a good Christian man and I am sure he would give you any support or advice he can.

Glenn Beck | me@glennbeck.com

[eccentric]

My daughter place her second child for adoption. Seen the most beautiful 5-year-old in New York? That's probably her!

But it was so embarassing, my daughter chose the couple from an advertisement in the back of Soap Opera Digest!

[kiss_of_angel_20]

Let me add due to the one reply. I have worked since I was 15 and went to school. I graduated high school. I was certified by the state in nursing and have been since "96. I only just became a housewife due to that fact I was having a lot of tests done and a surgery that was supposed to enable to to create a child. Which didn't work. Let me explain a little more about our problem. I have severe PCOS. I don't have periods...at all. My ovaries are completely covered in Cyst's which rupture often. My husband had a surgery that we were told was going to "fix" him. His count is still only 12 after two years. And we were told by our doctors that even with drugs and invasive procedures our chance of conceiving was .5%. So we had to give that dream up and continue with our research of adoption. That is how I stumbled across the article here and why I decided to post here. And yes We do know all the pro's and con's of a birth-mother living with us....and we can afford the medical costs due to our insurance plan. The reason we can't afford traditional adoption is because my brother-in-law is in a personal care home that we pay for. now...are there any more questions or comments? I will be happy to reply to both. And I thank those of you offering your good wishes.

[Solamente]

You both really should take some time to reflect. You want it more because it cannot be had readily. A child will not strengthen nor save your marriage if the two of you are incomplete in your hearts and minds and purse. Get that relationship sound as a dollar first, please I beg you.

The reality kicks in once you are a parent. Life as you knew it, including your desire to have a family goes from virtue to a stark and unending juggling act, especially with the spouse you shared your hopes with in the first place.

Take a little time. Be in love as long as you can.

[kiss_of_angel_20]

We are totally in love beyond compare. Thats not a problem. We don't want a baby to make our marriage better or to hold us together. We want children to love...to share with each other all of the ups and downs of being parents. We both have shared in our friends children.....we know about the up all night because you have a sick child....we know about staying in the hospital because your baby can't breathe...we know about the bickering between siblings and the embarrassment of having kids when they say something they shouldn't. But we want to experience it with our own children. we want to watch them grow up...go through the teen years. Watch them start out on their own make a place for themselves in the world and one day start their own family. Do you not understand any of that?

[kiss_of_angel_20]

I also wanted to add....we did not just wake up a month or even 2 ago and decide we want children..We have always wanted children. Do you honestly think that we have been trying almost five years on a whim?

We wanted children long before we found out that we couldn't. How do you think we survived 5 years of the disappointment every single month, the surgery's, the test's? The whole process is VERY stressful and hard on a couple. We made it through all of that and will continue to make it through everything because we love each other. Our marriage is very strong and will continue to be even if we aren't able to adopt. but thank you for the advice anyway.

[Solamente]

If you could only give yourself a little more time to separate what you feel as opposed to what your conscience guides you to finally decide is the only friendly advise I can sincerely render.

Since the year Bow and Arrow, no young adult has ever listened to anyone. Myself and mine included.

That said, I tell you from true experience to take your time. Build your life first. When you are more reasonably on your way, both of you together reach out and then start a family.

Prayers to your luck.

[Happygal]

You are 24.

Calm down.

That .5 chance may happen.

God works in mysterious ways.

[Happygal]

BTW, you say you are 24...and both of you have been undergoing tests since the age of 19 to have children?

How long are ye both married?

Apart from that...WHY are you putting yerselves under so much stress?
Is having a child 'right now' the priority?

Enjoy each other.
Volunteer locally at a creche.
Look into fostering.

It will improve your chances for adoption, when you are old enough to adopt IMO.

[Solamente]

Your addendum was to yourself, and I only read it now.

Lord knows I am only after you to bide awhile and process your feelings. I was at your age as passionate as yourself.

You want it now, and then everything will be better. Work out the details of your child's entire life later.

When I "helped" deliver my son, it finally dawned on me on how selfish I really was, despite all the grand and noble times that led up to his birth.

What happens to him beyond my love and protection is out of my control as he goes through life on his own. That is an awesome reality to contemplate.

Up to then, I thought I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing in my mid-twenties.

[Solamente]

Ah Jayzus, Happygal!

Help get me out of this before I get into the whole thing about how the incredible agony of the next few years somehow works out; bitter yet wiser.

[Happygal]

Look, I'm 32, single, no kids, good job, having the BEST time of my life.

I'm sure I'll wake up with a stack of regrets some day.

But I'll wake up with a helluva lot of memories.

And I still have a while before I can become a lesbian and adopt a child under some sort of newfangled legislation! *L*
How cool is that? *LOL*

(BTW, I AM kidding about the last bit! *L*)

[Solamente]

If I was a female of the opposite sex, I might fiddle with the notion as well!

[KingNo155]

you said that right!

[Solamente]

Thanks.

I don't want to spoil the party, but that's it.

[eccentric]

His count is still only 12 after two years.

My husband's count was 4 --- my 'miracle' is now 16 years old.