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I know you weren't aiming that at me, you don't know me. The fact is though that a whole lot of the stuff we hear about the evil step parent, came from the old fairy tales and from Hollywood Fiction.

I don't know if anyone has ever done an in depth investigation into whether children are safer and fare better with a natural parent or with their step parent has ever been done. I would suspect though that if such a study were to happen-steps and natural parents as a whole, would come out about even.

I will be the first to say, that in the best of all worlds, every child would be much better off if they were raised and nurtured by their natural parents-only a fool would argue against this logic. But a child that loses a parent to either death or divorce, has a better chance of recovering from that trauma with someone else to at least partially fill that void and be there for them.

There have been studies done, and they have found that a biologically unrelated adult male living in the home is the single biggest threat to a child's life. Married stepfathers are a lower risk than the casual shack-up boyfriends, but still a higher risk than natural fathers. Many male mammals have an instinct to kill the offspring of other males, and humans are no exception.

Interestingly enough a study has been done on adopted children. They did a comparison on how adopted children are raised etc. vs adopted children. There IS a difference. With all things being equal ... an adoptive parent will spend LESS on the adopted child vs. the biological child. Same with quantity and quality of food - more on the biological and less on the adopted child.

I'm not making this up. I wish I could give you a link or more about the particular study but the results made sense. I can see the difference in how women treat adopted kids vs. their own biological kids. It's typically not obvious but if you observe you can see it.

As to whether or not the child is safer ... I haven't seen a study geared to that however I have read some stuff where girls/boys are often sexually abused by the step parent. Often the reason the person married is because of the child and their pedophile tendencies. If a mom is hard up for money she'll often over look the abuse.

Of course the biological is ideal however as you say if this is not possible I see an adoptive parents as having an even bigger heart to take in these precious little ones. Again, I don't aim this at you but rather PRAISE you for having an honest loving heart. You are not the norm. You are VERY, VERY SPECIAL.

What concerned me immediately was the age of the step father - 25. That's young and typically immature. This little one is only 5 years old. It's not unusual for a little one to wonder into a parents bedroom after a bad dream. I can't believe he mistook a child, 5 year olds, as a threat. They are not big and menacing at 5 years old. I don't buy this one as a mistake.