[Lijahsbubbe]

Oh come on! Even his discussions about pets turn into tales of Viet Nam?!

What's next? Discussions on taxes? (Kerry to reporter) "Well, since you ask about taxes, I was riding in a swiftboat one day in Viet Nam, thinking about taxes....."

This guy is whacko!

[Remington Rebel]

The Magazine Masturbation International interviewed Kerry and asked him his thoughts on masturbation and his answer was amazing!

"one night on the Mekong river it was a slow night so i told all the men to go to sleep cause I was feelin' a little bit horny... back then we had this little dog named VC and he was a cute little guy that liked to cuddle with me... reminded me of my days back in college with the ladies... the moonlight was glistening off the Mekong that night I can remember like it was yesterday its seared - seared in my memory. I slowly unzipped my skivvies and started pumpin' the porpoise, I felt like a little kid on Christmas! then afterward I looked at the watch and noticed alot of time went by and the boat was moving downstream the whole time, WHOA! I thought I couldn't think a little bit... maybe 27 minutes or so... by the time i figured out where we were , we sure as hell were in Cambodia! Wholly crap I thought what would Nixon think if he wins the election? better not start an International incident, so I set the motor to troll, and we came back
the good thing of it is none of my men even knew we were ever in Cambodia on my secret masturbation mission."

John Fraud Kerry