You missed the point where he said he wasn't making any personal announcements. "I'm done with personal announcements", is what he said.
I think he is referring to the lie he was living through his painkiller addiction. I think Rush is surprised that he could be so stupid as to let himself get addicted and still beats himself up over it.
I'd rather find out what the "all your dreams will come true" stuff is all about.
This is what I believe too. I've done something stupid before but was in denial. It was not major by some's standards, but it still bothers me to this day at how stupid I was. Rush is still beating himself up about it.