Gene Blocker Turns Monkeys Into Workaholics - Study

Reuters ^ | Wed Aug 11, 2004

[martin_fierro]

Blocking cells from receiving dopamine made the monkeys work harder at a task -- and they were better at it, too, the U.S. government researchers found.

They masturbated and flung poo furiously.

[orionblamblam]

Ah, yes... minor chan ge in gene code changes behavior. Score yet another one for evolution...

[JeeperFreeper]

Uh-oh... cubicle rats for large corpaorations better shy away from the coffee pot and water cooler- bring your own drinks.

[MD_Willington_1976]

LOL...

[DainBramage]

. They had to push a lever in response to visual cues on a projection screen, and got a drop of water as a reward.

"Joe Bob realizes these geniuses never even considered it could be just making the dang monkeys thirstier"

[JRandomFreeper]

So, what the son-in-law needs is gene therapy?

/john

[Chad Fairbanks]

First it was "Drunk as a Monkey" now it's "Workin' like a Monkey"...

[martin_fierro]

Procrastinating monkeys were turned into workaholics using a gene treatment to block a key brain compound, U.S. researchers reported on Wednesday.

"And this is one technology that we must suppress," said the government employees.

[End Times Sentinel]

Interesting. I’m kind of like a workaholic, only my case, it’s liquor.

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

[blackdog]

This stupid study has been brought to you by the same people who feed amphetamines to your kids....and the depressed.....and those with adult attention lapses.....and to badly behaved chil'run.......

Sometimes I see the entire field of psychiatry just deciding to feed everyone amphetamines for six days straight, then taking the next three days off while taking enormous doses of valium to let you get some sleep, avoiding the "Speed Crash" that makes you so grumpy. I'd market them in blister packs called "Life Kickers"

The amphetamines don't do much for the erectile disfunction thang, but once you get 'er goin, you'll wear the mattress out before tiring.

[DannyTN]

"And this is one technology that we must suppress," said the government employees."

My first reaction was: Let's use it on the government employees!

My second reaction was: Do I really want more active government employees?

[martin_fierro]

Maybe more active guv'mint employees, but fewer of them.

[Backwoods Southern Lawyer]

Hell, I've got a 17 year old son who I want feed a tub full of this stuff. I expect that my wife wants to feed a tub full of this stuff to me.

[blackdog]

There has to be a downside to this monkey population we haven't heard of yet. Something like, although they worked furiously for an initial period of a few months, they eventually began hanging Dilbert Cartoons in their work areas and began urinating small drops of monkey piss in the researchers coffee when they thought nobody was watching.

[blackdog]

Dopamine is what keeps you sane. It's like the thermostat on your car's engine. Guess what happens when you have a bad thermostat? Think Charles Manson............

Short term gains in metabolic energy thru chemistry are always offset by long term breakdown. Premature aging, liver and kidney failure, neurotransmitter diseases like parkinsons, moodiness, violence prone behavior, and neurodegenerative diseases like ALS.

[itsamelman]

This little fella, for instance, rarely used to pick up his sticks and could NOT keep a beat.

[Solamente]

Our pristine brains become hardwired by what we are led to believe in; thus many of us become prisoners of our own device.

[Thinkin' Gal]

Chorus:
Yeah, yeah,
She loves the monkey's uncle,
Yeah, yeah,
She loves the monkey's uncle,
Whoa, whoa,
She loves the monkey's uncle,
Yeah, yeah,
She love's the monkey's uncle,
Annette:
And the monkey's uncle's ape for me!
Let the whole world start to put him down,
Chorus:
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
Feels like the circus just came to town!
Chorus:
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
It's as much fun as a "jungle gym",
Every time that I'm with him,
I love the monkey's uncle,
And the monkey's uncle's ape for me!
Chorus:
Ape for me!
Annette:
And I don't care what the whole world thinks!
Chorus:
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
Call us a couple of "missing links",
Chorus:
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
Let them say he's the booby prize!
Chorus:
She love's the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
He makes my heart and my temperature start to rise!
Chorus:
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
So let's stop all the monkeyshines,
Every day is Valentine's,
I love the monkey's uncle,
And the monkey's uncle's ape for me!
Chorus:
Ape for me!
Yeah, yeah,
She loves the monkey's uncle,
Yeah, yeah,
She loves the monkey's uncle,
Whoa, whoa,
She loves the monkey's uncle!
Annette:
And I'm MAD about his chimpanzee!!!

[The Duke]

Gene Blocker Turns Monkeys Into Workaholics

The difference between conservatives and liberals(?)