Posted on 08/11/2004 11:40:07 AM PDT by neverdem
BOOKS ON HEALTH
"Through the Glass Wall: Journeys into the Closed-Off Worlds of the Autistic'' by Dr. Howard Buten. Bantam Books, $23.95.
"Asperger Syndrome and Your Child: A Parent's Guide'' by Dr. Michael D. Powers with Janet Poland. Quill (Harper/Collins), $14.95.
At on time or another, every child experiences sadness, anger and loneliness, and displays a range of odd mannerisms. When these normal feelings are overwhelming and interfere with their daily lives, the behavior has become a disorder.
Autism and Asperger's syndrome are closely related pervasive developmental disorders. Asperger's is often less severe, but both are marked, among other characteristics, by flawed social interaction and repetitive behavior.
Many autistic children never learn to speak, and if they do they may speak in odd ways. They also have difficulty making eye contact. Children with Asperger's have normal language skills and I.Q.'s, although their communication skills are impaired.
These books provide an empathetic look into the two complex syndromes and into the minds of children who have them, as well as offering guidelines for parents.
Dr. Buten, the founder of an autism treatment center outside Paris, suggests that clear definitions and descriptions of autism are frustratingly elusive.
"There are violent, hyperactive autistic people," he writes, "and there are inert and gentle autistic people, verbal ones and nonverbal ones, heartbreakingly retarded ones and astonishingly brilliant ones, graceful ones and clumsy ones, obsessive-compulsive ones and easy-to-please ones, beautiful ones and ugly ones."
The author notes that even though people with autism may not read the emotions of others, what is certain is that our emotions can be transmitted to them. "I was amazed to learn, some years ago," he writes, "that many people who work with the autistic do not take the trouble to look them straight in the eye."
It is vitally important to do so, he says.
Dealing with autistic people is difficult, Dr. Buten acknowledges, but possible. "Accepting the autisms of the autistic - being able to appreciate them, even - demands certain human sensibilities that are not given to everyone," he says.
While many autistic children are mentally retarded, children with Asperger's syndrome are often intellectually precocious, and many demonstrate impressive skills in a particular area. Dr. Powers, a psychologist at the Yale Child Study Center, says that these skills may include unusual talents in math or music, or in visual and spatial understanding.
Even so, dealing with the syndrome is not easy, and children with Asperger's "need much more direct instruction in social rules and expectations," the author writes.
He offers a number of techniques, including being explicit and specific whenever you instruct your child.
"If your preschool child screams whenever he wants juice, you will have to explain that screaming is not allowed, but give him appropriate language to use instead, like 'May I have some juice?' "
Children should also be encouraged to observe the "social signals" of others, Dr. Powers advises.
For example, pictures or drawings may be used to call a child's attention to facial expressions or body language, and if a child tends to avoid another person's gaze, "you can ask him to look at you for a moment and say hello."
"As with everyone else," Dr. Powers concludes, "the success of children with Asperger's syndrome will depend on how they develop their abilities, and how successfully they are able to compensate for the difficult aspects of the condition. If your child can do these things, with your help, he may accomplish great things."
ping
I have a 12 year old son with Aspergers.
We have a 14 year old with Aspergers. He has always been a challenge for us, but this summer he seems to have turned a bit of a corner. He has been a volunteer camp counselor at the day camp he has been going to for several years, and the responsibility has been good for him. We have taken him off all meds, and hope we can stick with that once school starts (we aren't anti-meds, since they got him through some rough years, but we will be happy if they no longer need to be part of his regimen). He also went through a special program for at-risk youth about to enter high school, so we are hoping he will be better prepared for that environment.
Jeff was born 10/91, he has an older sister, born 9/90, and a younger sister born 2/93... hubby was an OTR driver at the time.
The first signs were his inability to look at me which started at about 7 months old. He would look at me, but it was like I wasnt even there. He had a lot of ear infections, and URI's so we lived at the peds office. He was late walking, and his speech consisted of "nuga nuga nuga" that, and "uh" was all he could communicate.
His dr, when Jeff was about 2 suggested we have him evaluated by a psychiatrist. He diagnosted pervasive developental disorder, with autistic tendencies. A few years later the Aspergers was defined as his disability.
Jeff would not parallel play, with me or anyone else. We got him into speech, physical and occupational therapy right away. On his 3rd birthday, he started special ed pre-k here in GA, and I swear that is what saved both him and me.
He used to throw terrible tantrums, and sometimes the only way to keep him from hurting himself was to hold him tight against me until he calmed down. I cried a lot over him, it was hard to cope with it.
By the time kindergarten came around, we put him in the regular school, and he was pulled out for speech classes, and he was monitored by the special ed teachers in the school.
He is now in 7th grade, getting A's and B's, and is on the middle school golf team (I am so proud)
He still has trouble making and keeping friends, this may last his whole life. It harkens back to the inability to parelle play at a young age. He gets along fine with kids much younger than him, and with adults, but kids around his own age, he just has trouble with.
He is my pride and joy.
My son had Asperger's. I say had because at the age of 23 he committed suicide. He was very intelligent but could not cope with the "fact" that he would never marry or lead a normal life and have friends. These were his beliefs and no amount of talking with him, encouraging, or counseling would change his opinions. As a child and up to the age of about 15 he was reasonable happy, busy with projects and attending school. One day I got a call from school, the nurse said he was in a crisis emotionally. Up until then I did not know what Asperger's was. He was diagnosed by a Dr and also the TEACCH center. I miss him so much. He was a good son and never got into trouble. There is more to the story and if you would like to talk just email me.
I am so sorry for your loss. My 14 year old has never acknowledged his loneliness, but we know his inability to have normal interactions and develop friendships has been painful for him. This past year he has found a group of friends that have similar interests--and probably similar issues--and that has helped a lot. We aren't fooling ourselves, however, and we know that his condition will be a lifelong struggle.
Drjimmy, do all you can to help him interact regularly with his friends. That is extremely important!
In my son's case it seemed the older he got the harder it became to make friends. Either we or his few younger friends moved and so lost the continuity.
Prayers for you and your son's success.
thanks for the ping
This is my biggest fear. My son is 12. He has such a tough time with the kids at school and I don't know what to do about it. I'm afraid I'll make it worse. I pulled him out of school two days early because the teacher was demanding he sing in front of the whole team. It was a group project, and he didn't have a group.
The worst thing is, just like you, there just isn't a darn thing I can do to help. He won't accept it.
Check freepmail!
Asperger Syndrome Coalition of the U.S.
Please check some of my links at 14. There is NO EXCUSE for teacher's not being up to speed on AS kids today!!!!!! At least, print out the teacher's guide to AS, and give it to all of his teachers, school counselors etc.
Here is my story about autism. I have a goal of making the public more aware of autism and asperger's syndrome.
http://www.tagnet.org/rousse/brandystory.htm
The story is about a 14 year old girl with autism, and here is a page of her poetry, which is not the usual.
http://www.tagnet.org/rousse/brandy.htm
this has not been an easy ride and I don't know where it will end....
but at least now this disorder is getting a little more press time....
DrJimmy...does your son and his friends play those role playing games? My 16 year old daughter plays ..yes it's D and D (thought to be satanic by some I hear) and the kids that like to play are not the ones in the mainstream.
ping
I am so sorry, millefleur. My heart goes out to you.
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