OK, so I got this far, attempting to keep some decorum and behave myself but ... {and this is WAY off topic -- I hope not to get ZOTted} ...
So, this guy walks into his doctor's office, and the physician, who was quite over worked that day, asks the gentleman what his complaint is.
The patient, quite embarrassed, drops his pants and shorts, and displays his schwanstüker, which is about the size of a peanut.
The doctor loses it and, although he tries to maintain his professional objectivity by using such subterfuges as pretending to blow his nose, and turning around pretending to make notes in the patient's chart, finally bursts out in fits of uncontrollable laughter.
After a couple of minutes of feebly attempting to stifle his shameful lack of sensitivity toward his patient, the doctor collects himself, profusely apologizes to his patient, and asks the patient "So what is your complaint?"
The patient sez "It's swollen."
LOL!!!!