[normy]

If all I have to link me to my children is something as superficial as a name, then perhaps I need to work harder on establishing a bond

One more thing. If a name is so suprficial then why would you disrespect your husband by not taking his name. Instead you keep your own supeficial name because it defines you, and you want it to define you. You know your last name defines you thats why you keep your Dads and not your husbands. If you kept your husbands you would be plain old " first name-husbands name" instead of "first name- my interesting Polish, keeping me special last name".

[cwiz24]

Respect is not a one-way street.

[tortoise]

If a name is so suprficial then why would you disrespect your husband by not taking his name.

You assume that the husband sees this as disrespectful. I doubt this is the case, and is a non-issue for most of the guys I know. One does not "gain respect" by having someone take your name. Respect either is or isn't.