What about the respect that a huisband owes his wife if she wishes to keep her last name? Does that not count?
I am sure your husband shows obeisience to you in all he does. It is the custom in American culture for the wife to take the husbands name making them one family. You not taking his name shows your disrespect for him because you are the one putting your husband in a tough spot socially not the other way around. Just admit your selfish and you wanted your way.