Posted on 08/09/2004 9:21:28 AM PDT by lady lawyer
Human beings have been walking upright on this Earth for a few million years. We have preserved the species in large measure by preserving our own tribes. We will battle to the end to protect our own. Blood is thicker than water, right? No, blood is thicker than just about anything.
We humans have only considered preserving and perpetuating the larger community for the past 4,000 years. Thank Hammurabi, the Babylonian ruler who produced a black stone tablet with the earliest known code of laws meant to organize and regulate society. Somehow the wise prince knew something. Protect the greater good; protect us all.
Last month a previously obscure Utah family faced an excruciating dilemma: Put the tribe first, or follow the law? In the course of one traumatic week, family members of Mark Hacking, who is suspected of murder in the disappearance of his wife, Lori, made their choice.
It was community over clan. One week after Lori Hacking disappeared, as Mark's history of lies kept building, as those who loved Lori ached for her return, as thousands of volunteers scoured the hills and neighborhoods to find her, brothers Scott and Lance Hacking chose to tell police of the confession Mark spilled to them on July 24.
"I don't know if I have ever seen anybody experience that much anguish before," Douglas Hacking, the men's father, told The Salt Lake Tribune last week. "On the one hand, [Scott] felt like he might be betraying his brother and compromising his chances in the court. On the other hand, he felt he may have some information the police didn't have."
The Hacking family made its decision far from the hot camera lights. Surely there was nuance, and gray area, perhaps even struggle within the family. But guided by devout LDS faith - particularly the principle of the right to free choice and followed by inevitable consequence - the Hackings soldiered on.
The family, Douglas said, "decided from the outset that our motto was to do what was right."
And they did, knowing what an agonizing price this bargain may carry. The confession is only one piece of evidence, but it is mammoth. Delivering it to police, the Hacking brothers knew they could well be sending their little brother to his own death.
Those of us out here, straining for a glimpse into a window on this decision can only wonder - and shudder - at what went on.
This family, at this moment, is majestic. It boggles the brain to think of any greater pain - unless it is that of Lori's parents, Thelma and Hareld Soares. Hareld broke out of the two families' unified front on Friday, blasting Mark for the lies and for allegedly killing his daughter. Thelma is divorced from Hareld and is planning a memorial service for Lori.
Brother against brother. Father against son. The dynamic is as old as any history and prolific in literature. Take your pick, the stories are inexhaustible: The Bible. The Book of Mormon. Shakespeare. Steinbeck. Somehow, the Hackings pushed through the pain and surrendered their allegiance to tribe in favor of the greater good.
They scanned the ground in front of them and saw an infinitely wider vista: peace and justice - for themselves, for the Soares family, for the community. How did they do it? We can only wonder.
It is just majestic.
But the gushing in this article is a little over the top.
This columnist is not usually sympathetic to families with traditional values. I thought this was a nice tribute.
Very nice. Thanks. Prayers for the families.
...as the Unabomber's brother did.
Ping
A bit over the top - by the time the brother obtained this confession, the evidence pointing to Mark Hacking was already overwhelming. I felt they owed it to all the people who were helping search for Lori to do the obvious and confront Mark for the real story. Also, Mark needs, more than anything else, to finally face up to the truth, come clean, and bear the responsibility of his own actions. If his brothers help him beat the rap, they only consign him to a continuing life of lies and guilt - a hell on earth.
God bless the Hacking family for sparing Lori's family the prolonged agony of a phony defense, and for doing the right thing.
That's got to be a really tough decision so I don't think the article is over the top. In this day and age when parents come to the defense of their children no matter what they did, it's refreshing to see the family choosing to do the right thing. When I was young, my parents told the teachers, "if she needs a whipping, do it"....now, the parents sue the teacher for any discipline they may give out.
My friend was a cop in L.A. and he says that when he arrested teens for stealing cars/murder, etc., the parents would go to the jail to meet them and the first thing they would say to the kid is, "Did they hurt you?!" Kids need to be taught there are consequences for actions no matter how much we love them.
"Mark needs, more than anything else, to finally face up to the truth, come clean, and bear the responsibility of his own actions. If his brothers help him beat the rap, they only consign him to a continuing life of lies and guilt - a hell on earth."
Amen. But you have to believe in something beyond this life -- and the importance of truth -- to figure this out. Scott Peterson's family haven't figured it out.
I'm not familiar with this writer, so I can't comment on the tone of the piece. I do know that so many families adopt a "my son can do no wrong" attitude about any kind of wrongdoing, much less something this horrific.
The Hacking family is to be commended for making a very difficult choice. And it was the right choice to make.
One difference. The Unabomber's brother negotiated to get the death penalty off the table before he would give the information. The Hacking brothers didn't ask for anything.
While I agree with you concerning the Petersons, it remains to be seen just what length Mark's parents will go to protect their son from what should be "just punishment".
sw
I can only imagine the anguish both families have endured, but it must have been paritcularly excruciating for the brothers to make this decision and follow through.
Thanks for the ping! Good column. Makes you think maybe the Hacking family should do some dna testing to make sure Mark wasn't switched at birth. (Maybe he's Scott Peterson's brother?)
On Fox just now, they said Mark would be charged sometime today--heads up.
Excuse me, but Lori was not some obscure person he murdered off the streets of Salt Lake. This was a murder of a family member by another family member. Perhaps in Salt Lake they refer to families as tribes or clans, but in most parts of the country family is family.
< One difference. The Unabomber's brother negotiated to get the death penalty off the table before he would give the information. The Hacking brothers didn't ask for anything. >
What I said was never meant to belittle what the Hacking brother's did. I can admire them for that, but I wouldn't even have to think about it. It would hurt, but I could never, ever, have someone...anyone confess a murder to me and not turn them in.
I'm not so sure what you say about Kryzinski is true. He did contact the FBI through a lawyer. I've done a google search and reread a lot of the stories. Every indication is that he "lobbied" hard for his brother to not receive the death penalty AFTER he was arrested. I also believe that all they could even promise was that they would take it into consideration before.
Reading the brother's own stories, there is no way he would have left it alone. He was going to see that Ted was reported with or without some kind of deal. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. Besides that, I think he knew anybody could tell he was nuts.
He also had the reward money out there too, remember, which he did finally get.
Personally, I don't understand families who protect brothers and sisters while knowing that they killed someone. I love all my family more than life itself but if I know they did the deed, I'll drag them in myself.
You're right. But Laci was the Peterson's daughter in law. And Conner was their fully developed, viable grandson. He even had a name.
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