[Normal4me]

My solution:

400 players on the field at once.
50 balls in play at the same time.
Ditches and barbed wire across the field.
Topless cheerleaders.

Then I'll watch it!

[Restorer]

How about giving one player on each team a baseball bat for use on opposing players' shins? That'd loosen things up!

[TheyConvictedOglethorpe]

400 players on the field at once. 50 balls in play at the same time. Ditches and barbed wire across the field. Topless cheerleaders. Then I'll watch it!

I think that was called the XFL. Didn't fly.

[whd23]

400 players on the field at once.
50 balls in play at the same time.
Ditches and barbed wire across the field.
Topless cheerleaders.

Scratch all but the last one, call it soccer, and I'll tune in every weekend!