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To: kittymyrib

"My vote for insane parenting is giving your one-year-old three or four choices for everything. Ex: "Do you want apple slices, string cheese, or a pear for your snack?""

Baloney. In general, one-year olds don't have the ability to make decsions about much of anything but by the time they are two they can make start making decisions about small things.

It also depends on the child. For some children, it helps them mature to let them know that they can make a decision, even on small things, and then you make it stick. You let them choose, you give them whatever their choice was, and then when they complain or try to change their mind, you let them know that this was their choice and they will have to live with it.

This is a great life lesson, as opposed to them growing up believing that their life is scripted, that their teachers make decisions for them, that their boss or the gov't will make decisions for them, etc, etc.


84 posted on 08/02/2004 7:28:34 AM PDT by webstersII
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To: webstersII
Thank you for beating me to it. We often give our daughter a choice of 2 or 3 options on certain things. My wife will bring out two outfits that are acceptable for the day, and ask her which one she wants to wear. She gets a sense of control of her destiny while we maintain the ability to frame all of the decisions. And, as you say, if she decides later that she chose poorly, she has to stick with her initial decision and learns a little lesson.

Today was a perfect example. we had a great day, did a liitle shopping and then walked the train tracks to the park and played all afternoon. When it was time for picking up her room before bath, however, she decided to tell me that she wasn't going to pick up her "babies". I then agreed with her and enforced my usual rule of "if I have to pick them up, I keep them". Two pretty little dolls are now packed in the top of my closet for a day or two. There was much crying and pleading and "I'm sorrys", but she knows they don't come back today. It can be hard to convince my wife to stick to the guns, but she gets it.

I definitley was not her favorite peson tonight, but that's OK.

439 posted on 08/15/2004 8:43:49 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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