AppyPappy...
First off, I'm honored, I have been reading your posts many years and appreciate your response very much...
now.. for the excuses!!
The food situation is tough because my husband is responsible for shopping and paying for the food. It's one of the few bills he pays, (he works part time due to severe arthritis, severe).... He buys plenty of real food, just does not force this boy into trying any of it!
The dinner/food thing is only indicative of the other problems...
You are right they are not my biological children, but I have supported them for many years. I enable so much c-r-a-p, I am at my wits end... I realize this is ME, but without authority, my hands seem tied. I feel ostricized when I criticize... (a little rhyme)
Unfortunately, I would be the one leaving, since there is no tolerance for "bitching" or making life uncomfortable (your point exactly to make it hard for them, not me). And lately, I have considered this option... not divorce, just a little lesson in respect. The oldest has been given until month's end. We'll see.
The 14 yo is in for a rude awakening. He has always been a brat, and has been empowered by his father. I always told him that the real world would teach him the lessons he needs, but this is too far in the future to have any impact.
Believe me, when my husband is absent, I tell this child just what I think... and not so nicely sometimes.
Get good advice (yours)... make excuses, and keep on doing the same things... sounds like a recipe for brats that turn into arrogant adults that don't have to follow rules.
I am considering your advice and will continue to "disable" the overly enabled!!
Best to you and thanks again... ba7
ps... I know this is WAY TOO much information... just venting a little...
You'uns... thank you all for your consideration. Your insight and advice is well taken and I will continue to contemplate your wise evaluations, and look at this with a more enlightened view. This is the shortest post ever for me!!
Mucho gracias... do you know the spanish word for taco?? ba7