I have a 2-1/2 yr old, a 14 mo. old, and another due any minute now. All girls. I admit, I struggle. I've used various methods with my oldest, from time out to swatting on the butt to 1-2-3 (which like some of you, I was using before I realized it was even a "method", ha-ha). One thing I have learned is that consistency is the key -- consistency of both consequences to bad behavior as well as consistency of environment. We get up about the same time each day, have meals together about the same time, and have a fairly set routine of bathtime-book time-bedtime. It seems to me that those parents who don't keep a somewhat predictable pattern to their child's day have a more difficult time than I do with discipline. This isn't to say I don't have issues, but it seems plain that "discipline" is more than just some magic word or action that you pull out when your kid misbehaves. It really encompasses the examples you set, the environment you provide, and the overall expectation you have of your child.
Ever heard the saying "I was a much better parent before I had kids." I try to remember that a tantrum I see for 5 minutes in the grocery store doesn't necessarily equate to someone's entire discipline philosophy. You never know when you're just seeing a bad 5 minutes. I've had bad moments in public; I've had other times when people will compliment by daughter's "perfect behavior." I've had friends ask me for advice on how to deal with their toddlers, this after I might have had what seems to be one of the frustrating days ever! I don't know.... consistency seems to be key, overall.
Yes, but what works for all children is to have the ADULTS in charge of determining what discipline methods will be employed.