Posted on 07/27/2004 7:41:46 PM PDT by Jane_N
It’s not jobs and the economy – it’s the Ohrid Framework Agreement, stupid!
And so we see that the Ohrid Framework Agreement is a panacea for all that ails Macedonia. And since it is the Ohrid Framework Agreement that will cover a multitude of sins here, I have a proposal for the countries of the region that face their own problems – an Ohrid Framework Agreement for all.
Think about it – since we have been told by the Great Powers that the Ohrid Framework Agreement is the single most important piece of paper ever written and since the Great Powers know what is best for Macedonia and the region, why not implement it in every country?
Albania, which has a Macedonian and Greek minority, could adopt both Macedonian and Greek as official languages. Greece, of course, could adopt Albanian and Macedonian as their other official languages. Bulgaria would get Turkish and Macedonian, Serbia would get Hungarian and Albanian and Kosovo would have Albanian and Serbian. And of course the United States of America would have English and Spanish, assuming we can get them to adopt the Ohrid Framework Agreement there.
Section 1.3 of the Ohrid Framework Agreement states “The multi-ethnic character of Macedonia’s society must be preserved and reflected in public life.” Well, gosh, since we must now conduct state hiring based on the language of one’s birth and the blood in one’s veins and not on merit, and since each country has at least a smattering of ethnic peoples within their borders, I think we can preserve and reflect the multi-ethnic character of – fill in the blank here – Albania, Greece, Bulgaria, Serbia, Kosovo, etc. in public life throughout the region.
We could have an entire affirmative action plan for the region as well. We could establish quotas in each country for hiring established percentages of each minority in the state administration (of course we will run into problems when the Albanians claim, say 10% of the population in Greece and the Greeks say it is only 2% and they’re illegal on top of that, but, what the hell, it will give Javier Solana a chance to spend more time in the region).
We’ll have a big boom in educational institutions since in each country we’ll need to establish universities in the languages of the minorities. This will provide a construction boom and an employment boom to educators, administrators and the international community who will help to implement these universities.
Makers of street signs will also benefit, churning out metal street signs and posts in a variety of languages and then installing them. Likewise, translators and providers of translation booths and equipment will get a big boost, until, of course, everyone in each country learns the languages of the minorities. Flag producers will get a boost too since we want to preserve and respect the “cultural symbols” of each minority community in each country in the region. Won’t it be swell when we see Macedonian flags flying throughout northern Greece, Greek flags flapping in the Albanian wind in central Albanian and Serbian flags flying over Pristina? And just consider the endless possibilities in Bosnia-Herzegovina. If that doesn’t bring people together, I don’t know what will.
And of course the census in each country will have to be revised and taken again, this time with little check-off boxes for the various ethnic identities living in each country. All under international supervision, of course. Police units too, will reflect the ethnic make-up of the region. So Serbs and Albanians will patrol throughout Kosovo, Greeks and Macedonians will patrol throughout northern Greece and Turks and Bulgarians will patrol in Bulgaria. All speaking to each other through translators.
Ultimately, of course, we can build an entire industry around the Ohrid Framework Agreements which we implement in the region. And since nobody is paying attention to jobs and the economy, we can use these Agreements as a way of promoting Ohrid. We can have annual conferences featuring each state with an Ohrid Framework Agreement. At these conferences, the states can compare notes to see who is further along in implementing their Agreement and which political party is threatening the government to pull out of the coalition unless their demands are met. We could establish a regional office for Ohrid Framework Agreements in Ohrid, of course, much like the UN offices based in Geneva or the OSCE offices based in Vienna and staff it with individuals from each member state with an Agreement.
Ohrid will become the center for monitoring these Agreements and solving disputes between political parties when it comes to implementation. Of course in order to provide for all of the people who will come to work for the Framework Agreements Regional Trust Secretariat (FARTS) we will need to build up the infrastructure in Ohrid providing first rate hotels and restaurants, institutions of culture and entertainment, a re-vamped airport and of course a golf course. All of this will provide a construction boom and employment for the local population. And since this will be a full-time, year-round, long-term office, we can expect it to grow fat and bloated, providing long-term employment for all.
So this entire process should be viewed as a wondrous and delightful opportunity for all to learn tolerance and love, all without firing a shot. And it will be a real financial boost to many businesses, not to mention the entire city of Ohrid. So celebrate the Agreement! Ditën e mire!
Jason Miko is a free thinker and an independent advisor and has lived and worked in and around the Balkans for over eight years and with them for eleven years. The views expressed herein are wholly his own.
"Framework Agreements Regional Trust Secretariat"
If they don't get their acronyms under control, this will be the least of their worries.
Actually I thought the acronym was rather "appropriate" in this case ;)
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