[isthisnickcool]

Kerry has a guy named "Mr. Morton" who helps him get dressed in the morning. Mr. Morton keeps Kerry's schedule for him and makes sure that whenever Kerry is traveling he always has a special pillow on the hotel bed. The pillow has Kerry's monogram on it and is a special hypo-allergenic pillow. As are Kerry's sheets that Mr. Morton replaces the hotel sheets with. And he also brings special towels for Kerry that are extra soft. Kerry's wife buys them for Kerry in France. Along with special toilet paper.

According to Mr. Morton Kerry only wears a pair of undergarmets once. Then they are thrown away. Mr. Morton is devoted to Kerry. After Kerry's prostate surgery other Heinz staff members said that Mr. Morton held Kerry's penis while Kerry was urinating during his "revovery". Mr. Morton is also a trained nurse and checks Mr. Kerry's prostate every night. For some reason Kerry has never told Mr. Morton his prostate was removed.

June 2004 Edition - Butler's and Manservant Monthly

[sinkspur]

After Kerry's prostate surgery other Heinz staff members said that Mr. Morton held Kerry's penis while Kerry was urinating during his "revovery". Mr. Morton is also a trained nurse and checks Mr. Kerry's prostate every night. For some reason Kerry has never told Mr. Morton his prostate was removed.

That's funny as hell!!!

[spokeshave]

"According to Mr. Morton Kerry only wears a pair of undergarments once. Then they are thrown away."

WOW....attention GOP/Drudge/Lenno.....this has more legs than a centipede:

I guess that's why he doesn't want his tax returns made public:

Money from second wife $1.5B

Payments for sports activities $10M

Refund from IRS on 365 pairs of underwear: $20K

Jokes from Jay Lenno....Priceless

[SpinyNorman]

Kerry has a guy named "Mr. Morton" who helps him get dressed in the morning. Mr. Morton keeps Kerry's schedule for him and makes sure that whenever Kerry is traveling he always has a special pillow on the hotel bed. The pillow has Kerry's monogram on it and is a special hypo-allergenic pillow. As are Kerry's sheets that Mr. Morton replaces the hotel sheets with. And he also brings special towels for Kerry that are extra soft. Kerry's wife buys them for Kerry in France. Along with special toilet paper.

According to Mr. Morton Kerry only wears a pair of undergarmets once. Then they are thrown away. Mr. Morton is devoted to Kerry. After Kerry's prostate surgery other Heinz staff members said that Mr. Morton held Kerry's penis while Kerry was urinating during his "revovery". Mr. Morton is also a trained nurse and checks Mr. Kerry's prostate every night. For some reason Kerry has never told Mr. Morton his prostate was removed.

June 2004 Edition - Butler's and Manservant Monthly

Mr. Morton is what one would not-so-politely call a "rumpswab."