Thanks for the advice but I am already calm.
Okay, but they want legal recognition. If we ban this on moral grounds, let's just get jiggy with it: Here's what's next, in the interests of a moral society AND equal protection under the law:
1. Harry Potter, and his likeness, are hereby forbidden.
2. Bikinis are forbidden. Bathing suits must cover those areas in addition to: thighs, knees, ankles, chest, neck, arms and head. Can't just go leave out the Muslims if we're converting Holy books into Law books.
3. Curfew is 11 pm. Nothing moral happens after that hour anyway. You should be sleeping and preparing to work hard the next day. (Thanks, Amos, for this suggestion- the Amish have been very helpful)
4. The public display of the human body or its likenesses is now forbidden, so as to avoid the possibility of idolatry.
5. Women should be appropriately dresses at all times. If I can tell you're there, you're not appropriately dressed.
6. Books with magic, magick, witchery or sorcery are forbidden. These works include, but are not limited to Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Piers Anthony and anything from the Wheel of Time series.
7. While we're at it, don't get caught dancing, using playing cards, UNO cards, or even Go Fish! cards. These are used for gambling, and we don't go for that.
8. Drunkenness in any form will not be tolerated. Let's just go ahead and ban beer, wine, and spirits. To avoid the APPEARANCE of impropriety, grape juice is forbidden as well. Oh, hell, let's just ban the grapes- they have juice in 'em.
9. All internet pornography will be moved to a separate section, disconnected from the rest of the internet, and then silently destroyed. Why not?
10. Divorce is now illegal. Make it work, whether he hits you or not. You probably deserved it.
11. Teenagers who bad-mouth their parents or are disrespectful are to be led to the preditermined locations that have been set up, where they will be pummeled with rocks until they are dead. That'll teach them, and it's biblical.
12. Per the Apostle Paul, marriage will only be granted with a signed affadavit affirming that the two parties simply cannot abstain. It's better to abstain altogether, though, because the human body is evil.
13. If a man lies with a man as he would with a woman, then both are to be stoned to death. We're starting to run low on rocks, so it would be helpful to bring your own.
14. If a woman is raped and she is single, from now on she and her rapist should be considered wed. Objectors will be considered fornicators and stoned until dead. Also- we're out of rocks. Bring glass bottles or full cans of food.
15. If a man dies, his wife shall be given to his brother, even if he is already wed. If she objects, she's probably an adulteress. Please bring some old plates and framed pictures of people you don't like anymore.
16. Any woman on her period is to now be considered ceremonially unclean, and should remain in hiding, behind closed doors as well as under two or more burqas. Can't be too careful.
17. After you have sex with your wife, in the missionary position, and only to have children, please burn your bedding outside the city. And be ceremonially unclean to others all day long.
18. All persons who are able must complete the hajj. It's mandatory. And you wouldn't want to offend Allah. Because we'd have to kill you if you did. Probably get killed on the way anyway.
See how bad it can get if we decide to throw away our democracy for a theocracy? You see, we have many cultures here. We have to incorporate everyone's views on God and morality, as we are an enlightened, egalitarian nation.