You've already set your mind one way on this -- that is obvious from your first post. You want comfort -- any comfort. In this case the specific comfort in the continuantion of assurance that "things are being taken care of" by magically trustworthy people. I WILL NOT and CAN NOT give you such false comfort.
And YOU have set yourself to only take comfort from some mommy-analogue. THAT, I can not be. You have set this course -- turned yourself off. ONLY YOU can turn yourself back on -- can become an adult.
I can, however, assure you most kindly and with compassion -- that you can do it. You can do it on your own. Take one step and others will help you take the next. (Most times, no guarentees. Sometimes a person gets so far into the muck and mire he or she has to take quite a few steps, a few lonely steps outwards and upwards.)
Anyway, by the hair of your teeth if you have to -- pull yourself up. You can do it!
Do your parents know that you are on the internet? Honestly, are you 12 years old? Enough with the drama. I'm a military officer with 24 years in service--I don't need you to be my mom. I'm doing my part every day. You are talking big on 'net.